THE TRANSFER STUDENT

The Party, Pt. 11

"Wait... what did you say?" Seokjin's mouth fell open. He couldn't believe what he had just heard, so much so that he had to confirm one more time. "Could you repeat what you said?"

"I thought about it a lot..." Jisoo swallowed hard. "It's not an easy decision but... let's break up, Jin."

Then it sank in. Jisoo was on the same page as he was. But Seokjin was surprised. There she was, talking about all their fond memories and happy things... and suddenly, this comes up. "W-why?"

Jisoo didn't answer immediately.

Seokjin was literally going to bring it up the exact same topic just moments ago, but now that Jisoo brought it up herself... he was confused, shocked almost. "Jisoo, why?"

"I loved you, Jin," Jisoo said softly. "And I still do. You know that, right?"

Seokjin bit his lower lip, unable to respond.

"But you don't," Jisoo let out a woeful laugh. "This sure took a lot of courage to admit... but you don't love me, I know you don't."

"Jisoo, I-"

"It's okay," Jisoo smiled. "I'm okay. I've come to terms with that. It took some time, but I finally see that... and I regret not realising that sooner."

Seokjin bit his lower lip, unable to utter a single word. How much he wished he could just blurt out an "I love you too"... but he couldn't. He simply couldn't say something he didn't mean.

"Well..." Jisoo let out a sigh. "These past few weeks have been tough on you, haven't they? Well, they have been for me. Extremely tough, so tough I often find myself breaking down in the middle of doing nothing." Jisoo let out a dry laugh, but she sounded weary. "You may have noticed this... but I'm not the same Jisoo I was a few months ago. I became a horrible person. A- mind my language- jealous bitch, almost. I became so ugly, I don't even recognise my ownself."

"Mm," was all Seokjin managed.

"You probably noticed it, didn't you?" Jisoo laughed again. "I think even your brother did, you know. When I talked to him that day."

"You guys... talked?"

"Well... yeah. During the prom. Told him all my deepest darkest secrets," Jisoo laughed at herself. "Told him how I can't focus on anything else but you."

"Did he... tell you to break up with me?"

"Well-" Jisoo paused. "No, he didn't. That's my own idea, Jin."

"But... why?"

"I love you, Jin," Jisoo hesitated. "But you saw everything that happened to us in the past few months. It never worked out. My grades deteriorated, and so did my health. My relationship with my parents became so bad because I became so snappy all the time. Pft-" Jisoo swallowed hard. "And I would hate to admit all the terrible things I did."

Seokjin became awfully wary of what was about to come.

"I-" Jisoo thought about all the nasty thing she had done to keep Seokjin by her side. The awful things she said to Byulyi, making her cry by telling her about their kiss, dressing her up and then acting awfully close to Seokjin in front of her, spilling wine on her dress on purpose. "Well, firstly, I-"

"It's alright," Seokjin interrupted. "Keep it."

"Well, yeah," Jisoo scoffed. "I guess we should split without me totally destroying your impression of me."

"It's not that-"

"Jin," Jisoo interrupted once again. "The point is, I'm tired. I'm tired of all this. I hate the me now. And above all... I'm sick of having these unreciprocated feelings. I deserve someone who loves me as much as I love him, Jin."

Seokjin felt tears well up in his eyes all of a sudden. She definitely did. She deserved someone so, so much better than he was. And because of his selfishness and thoughtlessness, he had robbed her of three months of happiness that she could have found in someone else. Seokjin felt horrid.

"Ah," Jisoo let out a small chuckle. "There, I said it. I rehearsed in my head so many times on how to say this... but I think I did better than I had practised."

"Jisoo-" Seokjin had so much to say. He wished he could explain himself to her, but in that moment, nothing but these two words could come out of his mouth. "I'm sorry."