THE TRANSFER STUDENT

A Brand New Day, Pt. 5

Silence.

Let's talk about silence - there are so many different kinds of silence in this world.

First and foremost, there's the awkward silence - the silence everyone knows about. The type of silence that ensues after a joke that was meant to be funny but really wasn't. The type of silence when you're meeting someone for the very first time and you guys both go at it for a while, taking turns to make small talk. But before you know it, you're both squeezed dry of any idea of what to talk next and end up spending the next 10 minutes sitting there, smiling at each other. That's an awkward silence.

Second - the fearful silence. The nerve-wrecking silence that fills a room when everyone is too afraid to say anything - or even do anything, for that matter. Everyone fears that something bad might happen if they do talk, so with their withheld breath, they hold in whatever they have to say. So they don't get noticed by the scary dog in the corner of the room. Or get scolded for talking by their teacher for talking in class. Or whatever their afraid of.

Thirdly - the confused silence. The silence that ensues when your mind begins to spin and there is absolutely no way you are able to say whatever you want to say. It could be a challenging calculus question your Math teacher called you to answer, or when someone accuses you of something to do. It could even be as trivial as something like... dropping your slice of toast onto the floor you fished it out from the toaster. The confused silence.

There are many more types of silence, but the silence that filled Jieun's bathroom after she had made her shocking confession, was nothing quite like any of these. It was none of these, yet all of these - at the very same time.

"I'm responsible for what happened to your sister."

Even amidst the silence, the words that had just spilled out of Jieun's mouth kept ringing in her ear. Everything felt so surreal - from the awful acrid smell of gastric juice to Jungkook sitting down on the toilet floor, looking up at her with his eyes wide open. Jieun had finally spilled the secret that she had been keeping for the past year, but it felt nothing quite like she expected. It was truly surreal - it didn't even feel like she was the one who has said those words.

She had worked so hard to keep it from him, why would she give in right now?

Jieun blinked rapidly, ironically trying hard to process what she had just said. She could see, in the corner of her eye, Jungkook getting to his feet slowly, and that made her tense up all of a sudden.

"You... what?"

"I..." Jieun's eyes were moist. "Jungkook... I..."

Jieun couldn't bear to meet Jungkook's eyes. She focused on the small area of bare skin around his neck. He approached her slowly, and Jieun caught herself backing away step by step.

"I-" Jieun swallowed hard, a lump forming in her throat. "Listen, I wanted to tell you this when I foujd out. I would have, I really wanted to, but I-" Her voice cracked. "I just couldn't. I simply couldn't."

"So..." Jungkook's voice was soft and surprisingly calm. "What do you know? I mean, tell me what happened. Please."

His voice cracked at the last word, his sorrow and confusion evident to Jieun even without having a glimpse of his face. It was his sister, his beloved sister. And now, the girl whom he has confessed to just a couple of days ago was now saying that she was the on responsible- it was definitely hard to digest. He would be so broken, and Jieun found herself realising yet again why she had tried so hard to keep everything from him. Jieun slammed her eyes shut, feeling her tears roll down her cheeks like mini waterfalls.