THE TRANSFER STUDENT

The Next Morning, Pt. 1

"Jieun, sweetie, are you sure you don't want me to come along?"

Jieun turned around, surprised to see her mom awake at this hour.

"No, mom," Jieun smiled reassuringly, taking a seat on the bench and reaching for her nicest pair of shoes from the shoerack. "I'll be fine going alone."

But Jieun's mom didn't take her eyes off her daughter, as she watched her put on her shoes with a worried expression on her face.

"I'll be going now," Jieun stood up after she finished tying her shoelaces. She looked up at her mom, who was looking at her funny. "What? Is there something wrong?"

"No, baby," Jieun's mom reached forward and clasped Jieun's hands in hers. "It's just-" She let out a deep sigh. "It's just- I know this isn't your first time, but-"

"Mom-"

"Baby, I totally understand why you have been feeling guilt and all kinds of emotions for the past 18 months, but I know that she would never want to see you that way and-"

"Mom, listen-"

"I'm just saying this for your own good, sweetie, but I feel like 18 months is enough. 18 months is a long time, Jieun. I want you to stop blaming yourself and actually continue living your life the way she would have wanted you to-"

"Mom-!" Jieun laughed, wriggling her hands out of her mom's hold and grasping her mom's hands in her own this time. "Mom, I'm fine. It's been more than a year mom. I admit, I've been thinking a lot more about her lately, but I was thinking last night, then I think... I'm finally willing to let go. I think now's the right time, and today I'm gonna go talk to her about it."

"Oh, sweetie," Jieun's mom let out a sigh of relief, and a small smile flashed across her face. She raised her hands and cupped Jieun's face, using her thumbs to caress her daughter's cheeks gently. "Oh, sweetie, I'm so glad to hear that. I'm sure... I'm really sure she'll be so happy to hear about this."

Jieun lifted her hands up to hold her mom's, closing her eyes as she leant into her mom's warm touch. "Thank you, mom. Thank you for being there for me all this while, I have no idea how I would have gotten over anything if not for you."

"Oh, Jieun dear," Jieun's breath hitched as her mom pulled her into a sudden embrace, wrapping her hands tight around her. "You know your dad and I are always here for you, don't you?"

Jieun fought the urge to cry. "Yes, mom. And I'm so grateful, that I have both of you."

The mother and daughter remained in each other's arms for a little while more, both of them happy that they had each other. But then Jieun's mom finally let go and planted a kiss on Jieun's forehead. Jieun could see streaks of tears on her mom's cheeks, in spite of her attempts to hide it from her daughter.

"Alright, it's time to go now, sweetie," she said softly with a gentle smile. "Have a safe trip there... and remember to eat your lunch, alright?"

Eating lunch - Jieun totally understood why her mom had to emphasise that. When the incident had first happened, she had skipped meals whenever possible for three months straight. It was kind of her coping mechanism, she guessed. But after that she got sent for counselling, and she finally started eating well again.

Her mom's worries that she might relapse were completely founded, too. The last time Jieun went to visit her 6 months ago... she completely stopped eating once and for all. She literally went on a hunger-strike... to punish herself.

"Don't worry, mom," Jieun reassured as she walked out of the door, turning to smile and wave at her mom one more time. "And I'll- I'll eat well."