THE TRANSFER STUDENT

The Party, Pt. 13

"I'm sorry. I really am. Oh my god, Jisoo. I'm so, so sorry," Seokjin didn't know what to say. This was really all his fault. There were no excuses for him.

"Why are you apologising?" Jisoo peered over in Seokjin's direction, seeing his shadow shaking next to her.

"Well-" Seokjin tried to get himself together. "I feel like a horrid person, making you go through all this. I became your boyfriend, but I didn't fulfil my responsibilities as one... And I simply hate myself for causing all the distress you went through all these past few months..."

"Well..." Jisoo bit her lip. She was on the verge of tears - breaking up was not easy, not at all. But she was holding it together. She wanted to break up coolly, not as a sobbing sloppy mess. "I guess, that was pretty... thoughtless. But what's done cannot be undone."

"I'm..." Seokjin wanted to say something else. Something else that wasn't "sorry" or "I feel bad" or anything of that sort. But he couldn't think of anything else to express how he felt in that moment. "I-"

"I'm just happy that it's finally over," Jisoo admitted, interrupting Seokjin because she knew he was having a hard time trying to find the right things to say. He must have had the idea of breaking up with her longer than she did, and probably had a hard time doing so... because he was a kind person, after all. Jisoo smiled, just thinking of the reason why she fell in love with him. "And I'm glad you're still the same Seokjin I fell in love with."

Seokjin knew Jisoo was saying all this, trying to make him feel better. But why was it that, the more she said, the worse he felt about himself?

"And above all that, I'm so glad you're not apologising for not liking me," Jisoo sighed. "Because... that's not something you should apologise about." Jisoo paused, inhaling sharply. "This is something I probably should have realised a long time ago... but I didn't." Jisoo let out a soft, sad laugh. "I should have known from day one, that I wasn't the one in your heart."

"Jisoo-"

"I guess I wasn't brave enough to face the truth," Jisoo continued, biting her lips in efforts to stop the tears welled up in her eyes from falling. "But I am, now, finally. I'm ready to let you go, Jin."

Seokjin didn't know what to say. "Jisoo, I-"

How he wished he could say more, express his feelings better. He had always been pretty eloquent and said everything he wanted... but this few months of his relationship with Jisoo had its effects on him as well. He was so used to hiding so much emotions from her it was as if he no longer knew how to express himself. It was almost physically impossible to say anything he wanted, especially right now.

"Be happy with Byulyi, alright?"

Seokjin looked at the sudden mention of her name. "B-Byulyi?"

"Look at you right now," Jisoo laughed. "I guess I tried so hard to become the person you loved that I no longer was myself. I know you love her, Jin. Imm not that dense."

"I-"

"I've seen the way you look at her... it's just different. And... I saw you two in the PE storeroom."

Seokjin's eyes widened and his breath hitched.

"I have to say... it hurt." Jisoo pursed her lips. "But thanks to you, I've learnt that love cannot be forced." Jisoo smiled, turning to look at Seokjin. "She loves you too. You don't know how much tears she's shed over you..." Jisoo swallowed hard, hesitating momentarily before putting a hand on Seokjin's shoulder and patting him gently. "Treat her well, Jin."

Seokjin was on the verge of tears. All this while... Jisoo probably knew everything that was going on in his mind... she just turned a blind eye. "Jisoo, I'm so sorry... I-"

"Right now, the thing I want to hear from you the most isn't 'sorry'," Jisoo bit her lower lip. "I'm over that."

Seokjin hesitated. He felt like he knew what the thing Jisoo wanted to hear from him the most right now. It came from these three months of hanging out with her. He swallowed hard. "Thank you, Jisoo."

Jisoo smiled, closing her eyes and taking a long deep breath, before finally getting up to her feet. "Well, I guess it's time we get back in and join in the party. Another thing for you to celebrate, huh."

Seokjin stood up as well, with a frown on his face. "Jisoo, why would you-"

"Can I have one last request?" Jisoo looked up at Seokjin, as the moonlight lit up his face slightly.

"I owe you so much more than that," Seokjin found it hard to make eye contact with Jisoo.

"Just stay still."

Seokjin did as he was told.

Jisoo took a step forward, wrapping her arms around Seokjin's waist, feeling the Seokjin's warmth as she brought herself closer. She closed her eyes, enjoying this feeling she hadn't felt in a long time. As Seokjin slowly but surely wrapped his arms around her, Jisoo felt a lump form in her throat.

This was the last time.

Jisoo bit her lip, trying hard not to let the tears she had been keeping in since forever fall. She swallowed hard as she pulled away from Seokjin's embrace and forced herself to look up at his face. She stared at him in silence for a long time, trying hard to remember every single detail about him, because this was the last time. She willed herself to smile and she tried to camouflage the single tear that rolled down her cheek as she did so.

"Goodbye."