Married My Enemy (#1 Rajput)

97- Stuck In The Middle

Started Typing On - 31/03/2019

Started ReTyping On - 3/04/2019

Chapter 97- Stuck In The Middle

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Jaanvi's Pov:

I pulled my eyes to the right, gazing out the big window gracing my eyes to the clean busy roads. Even in such a sunny day people were walking on the footpaths, they could tolerate the heat. I couldn't. The dryness of my lips wasn't helping my growing indescribable dissatisfaction.

"My aunty," I felt my throat go drier at the mention of her name-her relation to me. My sticky cheeks heating up my face and my ears in boiling anger once I remembered her face. "She was my father's younger and only brother's wife," I explained so she doesn't think Juhi was my mother's sister or my father's sister. She nods, looking impatient to find the reason behind my depression. I gulped, exhaling deeply.

"She killed my mother. I-I don't know if you'll describe it like that but s-she-my mother gave birth to me a month earlier than expected. Instead of November I was born in October, her pregnancy was complicated."

Jacinda's eyes softened. She passed me a glass of cold water, taking it with a tight smile I gulped down, liking the coldness filling up my dry throat. My voice might come out clearer and smoother now.

"It was either my mother or me. My pap-father is mute as you may remember from our previous conversation. He was anxious the whole time, praying for my mother. The doctor told Juhi, my aunty the condition and she took the decision in her hand. Therefore, I'm here and my mother's probably still trying to find peace up there." I gently wiped my lashes with my index finger to wash away the heavy drop of water on them. Massaging my head, firmly moving my fingers onto my sick head.

"Why do you think she hasn't found peace yet?" Her eyebrows swirling upright as if she was uncertain of my answer. "Your mother." Jacinda felt the need to add so I understand her question properly. Her dark brown eyebrows still giving me a doubtful look.

"She left without seeing her baby. What do you think?" I replied, disbelief to hear such words from her mouth. "Doesn't every mother want to see her child? Especially after having it inside your womb for months?" And that's when I shut my mouth. Not because I may have offended her with my clear harsh tone and unthoughtful sentences but because I was aware of how right I was yet I haven't been acknowledging or respecting my own statement.

In the darkness inside my head I saw the light. I saw it clearly with my brown orbs, I moved closer to the light. To stand underneath the brightness and let it invade me but every time I tried to reach it I was always taken back. I can't even blame anyone for it. I may, and I know I will at some point in my life but it's in my head. It's my negative ideas which were always blocking away the light. Blocking the brightness away with their dark charcoal clothe wrapped around my eyes, making me blind. I still saw everything but it was all mostly negative towards me. I want to get out of it quickly but I knew it'll take time.

"What if seeing you alive is her happiness? She could have had a tough time after having a miscarriage." Her voice was lighter than feather, I realised she didn't have her notebook in her hand. I shivered a little at her voice, my thoughts were broken. I looked up to see Jacinda watching me.

She either has a lot of patients or she's seen worse mental and emotional breakdowns in front of her to take mine in heart.  

"Yes, I agree." I admit, I'm sure Ma would be in depression but she'd move on eventually. Life doesn't stop for anyone. "But by now she'd probably have a grown up son or daughter. Because of me the family died." I rose my voice, biting my lip hard enough for it to bleed. I licked away the blood. "I didn't have a mother. I didn't have my own siblings to play with or look after. Or trust with my life. I only had myself, at times."