All I've Ever Dreamed

Chapter 110

A/N: Hey guys! I know I already broke my own rule by not posting on Thursday :( Unfortunately I was super sick and slept all day. I am feeling slightly better however so enjoy!

Dean woke up late. He'd been restless the entire night, tossing and turning as he thought of the conversation Roman would have with him in the morning.

Every time he looked at the clock, he simply rolled over and fell back to sleep until his body refused to sleep anymore. He finally climbed out of bed around eleven o'clock.

When he got to the living room, Roman was sitting on the couch, drinking orange juice and watching TV. He wasn't dressed.

"Hey-" he said, seeing Dean. At his confused look, he added, "I just got up about ten minutes ago. Guess we were both tired, huh?"

Dean nodded, unaware that Roman was lying just as much as he was.

Roman raised an eyebrow. "You gonna sit down?" he asked.

Dean wet his lips. "A-Are we gonna talk?" he asked in reply. He was shifting slightly, feeling nervous.

Roman set his glass down with a sigh. "Do you want to?"

"No."

"That's what I figured." Roman gestured to the couch seat next to him, and Dean slowly walked over and sat down.

"Alright." Roman took a deep breath and clasped his hands together, his eyes searching Dean's. "So, why don't you want to go to college?"

Dean hesitated, unsure of how to start.

"Hey," Roman said softly. "This is a conversation. Okay? Not an interrogation. Just talk to me."

He nodded, inhaling deeply. "W-Well... I never planned on it. We didn't have a lot of money, and my dad had never hinted at helping me pay regardless. I didn't know what I wanted to major in, which is fine when you're younger, but... ninth, tenth, eleventh grade, I still didn't know. I had no interests, not in science, math, arts... I know lots of people go into college without knowing, but it wasn't just that. I didn't want to major in anything. And to me, walking into college without wanting to be there, especially after paying to... it just seemed like a waste."

He looked up at Roman. "I've never wanted anything but wrestling."

Roman reached over and took one of Dean's hands in his own, squeezing it gently. "I know." He murmured. "And... all of that makes sense, Dean, but the money? Why didn't you just ask?"

Dean looked down. "Because, Ro. I've depended on you for so much, especially in these last few years. Paying for my college, or helping to, anyways? It was too much. I didn't want that."

Roman nodded slowly. "Okay." He ran his free hand through his hair. "I understand, you hear? I wish you had chosen differently, but it's your choice. I can't change your mind about that. But Dean... if you had just told me all this, we wouldn't be having this conversation. Not like this, anyways. Why didn't you tell me sooner? At the very least, last year when I told you I was waiting for you."

"I was scared..." Dean said softly. "I thought you'd be mad, or try to talk me out of it. Maybe even try to force me to go. A-And you seemed so set on going, I just couldn't disappoint you like that. I meant to tell you that day, I did. And then that day turned into that week, that month... I just pushed it out of my mind. I'm really, really sorry, Ro."

Roman was silent for a moment. "You get that it was a big deal, right?" he asked. "I mean, I put off my education for you because I thought you wanted a college education."

"I know." Dean replied. He was looking at his hands.

Roman sighed. "I know why you don't want to go. I respect that. As for not telling me, well... it was a mistake. We both know it. But I get why you were scared." He made sure Dean was looking at him before continuing. "You don't ever have to be scared to tell me anything, understand?"

Dean nodded, chewing his lip.

"I'm still upset, a little. I have to wait even longer now, to get accepted into a college. But I'm ready to move on from it, if you are. Are you?"

"Yes-" Dean said quietly.

"Okay." Roman wrapped an arm around him and pulled him close, kissing the top of his head. "Consider it in the past."

Dean looked up at him with a grateful smile.

"Now," Roman said, rubbing his back for a moment before standing, "Breakfast?"