Suggested Song: Satellite Heart By Anya Marina
Carmen's POV
It had been days since I had received a decent amount of sleep and food. We had stayed most nights in the hospital. Mum seemed to be frail, but going strong for someone so sick. She was a different person from the one before. She was back to my Mum. Almost what she was like before Dad left.
She was almost complete again. The pain was visible in her, but she was usually drugged on morphine to help with it.
She had stopped chemotherapy now, so the sickness was minimal most of the time. Her hair was short, in a pixie cut, as it started to faintly grow back to its length. Even her eyelashes had started to grow back.
It was about seven at night. Will had gone out to go back to the hotel to grab somethings, along with some food. Mum was watching a rerun of Sex and the City, and I was sitting up against the window. The rain had not stopped yet. I cold feel the cold from the outside leaking through and touching my bare arms.
I heard a shuffle behind me and turned to see Mum sliding out of bed. I got up and walked over to her to help.
She took my offered arm and in the other, she held the IV bag stand. Slowly, we moved towards the window and when we were close enough, she plonked down on it. I sat down beside her and we both turned our attention back out the window.
"You know... I missed you so much... While I was up here" She spoke gently
I looked at her and smiled solemnly. I felt terrible for making her wait so long to see me.
"I'm sorry... I was just worried because last time-"
"Last time I was an asshole... I treated you terribly... For that, I understand. You don't have to explain yourself to me, sweetheart..." She says, gently placing her hand on my arm and sliding it down to my hand.
"You know... I haven't thought of your Father in... So long... But when you walked through that door... When you walked through that door, the only thing I saw was him... The look you gave... The way you worried... You are just like your Father" She smiles reminiscingly
I look down at my legs. They were crossed loosely.
"I shouldn't have pushed you away during that time... After he left... But just the... Thought of you made me think of him... You looked like him, it-... It was just so hard" She says, tearing slightly dwelling in her eyes "I feel in love... With a man I could not fix... He was... Sick... In ways that could not be fixed with medicine... When you were born... I was so terrified you would be born with it too... But... You were born so-... So beautiful" She says, grabbing my check and gently pulling it.
I smile embarrassed and she giggles. It quickly fades into a vacant sadness though. The thought of Dad made her feel a certain way. Like she wished it was different. But in a way, like she understood.
Mum and I had never spoke about Dad like this. She always shut me out about it. Told me Dad was a coward. That he wasn't worth being in our lives. I never understood why. I guess she was in pain as well. I thought as a kid, she was just being mean. I guess there was just more behind the curtain that I could never understand.
"I've done some terrible things in my life Carmen... Terrible mistakes... And when I was pregnant with you I-... I thought you were going to be another one... But then I-I held you and... And I had never been so in love with something so small... So delicate... You were just this... This ball of happiness" She smiles, her smile wide as it was before everything had gone wrong.
Never had I seen Mum so at peace, than while she was dying. Like she had found joy in leaving this Earth.
"I guess that happiness left a long time ago..." I say and Mum looks down
"You know, after Dad... Left... the reason I hated him so much was... I saw that he took that happiness with him... You weren't the same... He took it with him... And I hated him for that... I couldn't let him go" She says, her joy faded and serious "I only wish he could have left that here with him" She says
The door suddenly opens with a click and Will walks in smiling, holding a bag of Burger King, and my backpack. I stand up and walk over to him.
"I got something for you too Mumma bear" Will giggles, handing her a burger
She smiled and thanked him.
"Wait, did you ask a doctor if she was ok to eat that?" I ask
"Honestly... I kinda snuck this in here so, no" Will admits and Mum begins to chime in
"Carmen... I haven't got long in this place... I might as well live stuff like take aways out... It's the simple joys that I haven't been able to experience in months" She says and I okay it
I help Mum walk back over to the bed and I start to shuffle through movies to watch. Will sits on the ground beside the chair, like her had been for the last couple of days. I pay him on the shoulder and gesture for him to squeeze into the chair beside me. His face immediately lights up and he gets up, doing so. It was a tight fit, but the chair was made for bigger people anyways, and we were both twigs.
I was so pressed up against Will, I could feel the small metal things on his jeans digging into my thighs. But I didn't mind. It wasn't painful or anything.
Will handed me my food as the movie 'Role Models' started playing in the background. It was a nice night. For a little bit I forgot why I was stressed.
At least I could pretend to for Mum.
YOU ARE READING
The Ones That Are Broken // Willne
Fanfiction"What's wrong with us?" He muttered, his head up against mine through the wooden door. "We are the broken ones" I reply, my heart sinking just at the thought "And I never love in the first place". I was right. Love was a stranger to me, that wore di...
