The Ones That Are Broken // Willne

82| Wake Up Sober

Suggested Song: Case Study B by Jenny O

Carmen's POV

After years of waking up in a light room, sun peaking through the open blinds, I finally remembered I was afraid of the dark. Afraid of waking up in the dark. I didn't like feeling blind. Vulnerable. The dark gave me a chance to think. A chance to remember.

And I didn't want to remember...

As I opened my eyes, I realise I wasn't in a dark room. But it felt like I was. I couldn't breathe. It was like my head was under water. Like a hand was pushing me under. 

As three doctors stood around my Mother's lifeless body, I knew the feeling that hit me in the chest. The same one that I felt when the officer told my Mother, my Dad was dead. 

I tried to scream

I stood up, trying to get to her. Trying to speak to her. I immediately felt Will's arms wrap around me, his hand gently stroking the back of my hair as a strong realisation hit me. 

My Mum had passed in her sleep

As he touched me, spoke to me, my mind numbed. I knew this moment was coming. I always thought my mind would race, but it didn't. It was like a silence in my head. I couldn't hear Will's voice as he spoke to me. It was like standing in a blank white room.

I had met an end

I had hit a brick wall hard. And now, I had no idea how to push passed it. Or whether I ever could.

******

"She passed peacefully" I mutter, the words echoing around the blank room

Will and I sat in chairs across from her bed. It had been silent for an hour. Now hearing my own voice, and the words that slipped from my mouth, they sounded cold and harsh. Will had stayed silent in respect. His eyes widen slightly as he looked up.

"Yeah, she did" 

"Do you think she knew?" I ask, my eyes not moving from her bed

Will paused for a minute, staying quiet as he thought of the right thing to say "I think everyone knows, deep down" 

"Yeah" I sigh out, looking down in my lap as my voice croaked "We should go home..."

Will looked down in his lap with a nod "Yeah, the hotel will give us some time to think. I think we should both get some rest"

"No" I speak coldly, his eyes shooting back up at me "I mean, I want to go home"

"Home like, the Uk?"

"Yeah"

He pauses for a moment, solemnly frowning down at the cold hospital tiled floor "Are you sure? I mean you should have some time to heal before-"

"Will, I want to go home" I utter, locking eyes with him "I knew this was coming. I've been mourning Mum's death for years... Now is no different. I want to go home. I said my goodbyes but, I don't belong here anymore" 

Will gives a knowing nod, standing and offering me a hand. I oblige, taking his hand as he pulls me up in one swift motion. He pulls me into a hug. As I bury my head into his shoulder, a tear runs down my face "Let's go home" He gently says

As he lets go, I slowly walk away from him. As I walk up to Mum's side, I take her hand. Her skin cold and rubbery "I'm sorry I couldn't do more" I whisper, bringing her hand to my forehead as my voice shakes with teary distress

As I place her hand back down on the bedside, Will's hand makes his way to my back, as he gently rubs circles along my spine "You did all you could..."

******

As Will and I walk into the airport, bags in hand as we lift everything out of the terminal, there was a silence between us. It had been that way the whole way home. But it wasn't an uncomfortable silence, the one that makes you swallow your tense emotions hard. It was the sort that became of a well understood heart.

Will knew I didn't need a conversation, but I needed an empty mind to think. 

A small smile grew across my face as familiar friends stood up from the waiting chairs. Alex, George and James flashed us both a solemn smile as they approached us. Immediately, the trio pulled me into a group hug.

Not a word was exchanged in this moment. That hug spoke louder than any solemn words could have. I knew we all felt the same emotion in that moment.

An emotion of sadness, love and strength. One I couldn't put into words.

"We missed you both" James says as they all peal away

"We missed you too" Will says as he grabs a bag from my hand, taking the weight off

They knew what happened. I'm sure Will probably told them on the plane, though they knew we were there for that exact reason anyways. I was learning how to come to terms with it all. And that factor kept me calm, and whispered that it was going to be alright.

Even if it didn't feel that way. 

Being friends with someone was the ability to know when to step away from them. Knowing when they don't need a 'sorry', but a hug. These four idiots, they knew that about me. I knew that about them. And in this moment, I had never been more grateful for my four idiots.

I had put them through so much of my bullshit. I had pushed, yelled, screamed and hurt all of them. But the strength of them returning helped me close my eyes at night. They knew when to come back. I didn't need anyone else if I had them.

Even if that meant sometimes, I had to wake up sober...

A/N

Hey everyone! Hope you enjoyed this chapter. Sorry it's a bit shorter and a bit blunt. Having some writers block at the moment. I know what direction I want to take this book, but executing it is a bit harder. I hope you are all doing well though. I am also writing a new book at the moment. Something a bit different, but it's for all my Umbrella Academy lovers out there (I'm completely obsessed at the moment). But if you're interested, it should be out soonish. So yay! Anyways, until next chapter! Stay safe!