Alpha Without a Pack...

Chapter 80

                                    Colton

Everyone was frozen by her words, no one seemed able to fully process everything yet. I was stumped for answers on how to react because the tears and pain in here eyes, the anguish in her voice, every bit of it was truth. The confession of her past seemed to have drained her of all her energy, the usually proud she wolf was pitifully slumped in a ball on her boulder. I could see how much she was hating herself in her closed off nothingness stare, and I could see how she clearly believed we'd hate her for it too, but I didn't, I couldn't. I just couldn't hate this side of her, I couldn't hate this self sacrificing, lovable, protective, and all around amazing girl no matter what she told us, I would only support her as much as she allowed. 

I just couldn't hate her for her past, and I couldn't hate her for doing the only thing she could in such a horrible place of her life. The fact that she regretted it so painfully was more than enough of a reason for me not to judge her actions and choices, it was none of our business to judge her anyway. "It's okay if you hate me or want nothing to do with me because of this, I would completely understand, besides it would be safer for you to keep your distance." She whispered as she hugged her knees, all three of her mutts were whimpering and nuzzling her, they knew she was in distress and they wanted to make it better. I didn't even get a chance to set her straight before someone else beat me to it, Fletcher practically pounced on her as he pulled her into a tight hug, his own tears rolling down his cheeks. 

"Never say that again, don't you ever think we could ever hate you, we all have our own evils. You are amazing Sidney, you're so strong and you care about everyone so much, how could we not love every part of you, even the broken bits." Fletcher growled into her hair, she seemed to be fighting to keep herself somewhat composed. "I think you mean especially the broken bits, because then you seem even more like one of us." Gavin murmured as he joined in on their hugging, Sidney was silently shaking now. I chose that moment to step forward, kneeling in front of her slightly to get her teary eyes to focus and see the truth of my words. 

"Sid you are a survivor, don't ever blame yourself for doing what you had to do on the past, and don't ever say you're not worthy of anything, because the way I see things, you're worthy of everything. You might not want our love but we are still YOUR friends because YOU are one of the nicest and most amazing girls any of us have ever met, even with the demons haunting you. Remember Sid you're stuck with us, we're not going anywhere no matter what you throw at us." I murmured as I pulled the three of them into a group hug. The moment my words registered and my hug connected Sidney's wall crumpled, I felt her fist tighten in my shirt as she sobbed. The sound of years of pent up pain and self loathing was heart wrenching and soon everyone had to be touching her in some way to offer reassurance as she finally dropped her guard and let us all in ever so slightly.

 I didn't count how long she cried or how long we stayed there comforting her but when she finally worked herself back to sniffles she pieced her old wall back together brick by brick in front of our eyes. "I really don't deserve you guys, as friends or otherwise, you're just to good for me. Honestly Streaks how could any of you short change yourselves for being amazing?" She barked out the accusation at Gavin, her pout drawing chuckles from all of us. "Same to you Crazy Girl, we all see our flaws more than our strengths, it's only human of us." Gavin smiled sadly. "You really don't hate me?" This time she posed the question more towards Jason, considering he viewed all children as priceless more than the rest of us

. "I got to admit it's a hard pill to swallow but I don't hate you Sidney, I do however hate whoever put you in that position in the first place." Jason growled fiercely. "Oh don't worry about them, I settled quite a few old scores before I high tailed it out of that house of horrors." Her bitter smile is dark and deadly, part of me wants to know how those scores were settled but I figure it's best not to ask for now. "Good. We should head back inside, after all it's our last night here we should make the most of it, and I'm starving." Tucker was being as cheerful as usual but his smile was much more controlled, thankfully Sid agreed much easier than anticipated and followed us inside.