Ashton Irwin Imagines - COMPLETED

you're not alone (requested)

Major trigger warning; this chapter revolves around self-harm (but not too heavy in detail). If this kind of content makes you uncomfortable in any way please don't read this chapter. Also, if any of you ever need or want to, please don't ever be afraid to message me. I'm always here for you; every single one of you. 🤍
———————
You twirled the blade between your fingers as tears blurred your vision, slowly rolling down your cheeks.

This week has been the worst of your life and the hate directed towards you has been worse than ever before. You haven't done this in a long while, but you also haven't felt this low in a long while either.

Your breathing was shaky. You squeezed your eyes shut as the blade hit your skin. You wanted to continue; you wanted to escape the pain. But before you could do anything else, you heard Ashton's voice from outside the door.

"Y/n?" He turned the knob but the door was locked, so he knocked again. You must've been so deep in the moment that you hadn't even heard him come in. You accidentally dropped the blade on the floor, watching a few trickles of blood fall to the ground at the same time.

"Y/n? Are you in there?" You could sense the worry in his voice.

"Y-Yeah." You stammered. You could almost picture the frown on his face; see the way his eyebrows pinched together at the obvious pain in your voice. It was clear you'd been crying. "I'll be out in a second."

"No, open the door right now."

You stood frozen on your feet, unsure of what to do.

"Y/n... I saw the tweets, okay? That's why I came home early because you weren't answering your texts and I got worried. You need to open the door, okay? You need to let me in. If you don't, I will break it down, I'm not joking."

You had no choice. From the blur of your tears you could see the blood on your wrist and when you opened the door, the look of worry and fear on Ashton's face. He took a step closer and gently cupped your cheek but when your gaze shifted to your wrist his did the same and he gasped in shock.

"No, no, no." He muttered and gently took your other hand to lead you into the bathroom again. He went to the sink, grabbing a cloth from the rack, and wet it down before grabbing your wrist and placing it over your skin.

He saw the blood on the floor. He tensed up as his heart shattered in his chest. He was quiet, way too quiet, and you thought the worst.

"I'm sorry..."

He lifted his head up right away. He looked into your eyes and that's when you saw the tears in his. "I'm not mad at you, y/n."

You bit your lip, looking away from his intense gaze. "Disappointed?"

He shook his head and used his free hand to cup your chin. "Absolutely not. Y/n, you're hurting. You made a mistake, you got caught up in the moment. I'm not mad or disappointed. Not in any way. Nothing you could do would ever disappoint me."

You let out a shaky breath as his words.

"What I am is worried. I'm worried about you. I was worried that you'd do this, but I'm here now and I'm not gonna let it happen anymore, okay?" He pressed his lips to your forehead. "Whatever you need me to do, whatever is gonna help you right now, I'm gonna do it. I'll say something to the fans if you need me to. I'll talk to the boys, tell them we need some time because you're not doing well. I'll do anything. I just want you to do one thing for me in return."

You nodded as you looked into his teary eyes.

"If this urge ever comes back, you tell me right away. No matter if I'm right by your side or if I'm halfway across the world. If I'm in the studio, if I'm on stage, I don't care. You tell me. I'm here for you and I love you more than words can say. I need you."

You leaned your forehead against his chest and you held each other as you both cried a little. "Love you." You whispered into his shirt that was now wet from all the tears you've cried. "I love you so much, y/n. We'll get you help. I'm gonna be here every step of the way with you. You're not alone."

You weren't alone.

As long as you had Ashton, you'd never be alone.