Alchemist Out Of Corona

There's Something About Hook Foot, Part 3/4

"First, we gotta get you the right look!" Eugene says to Hook Foot later, as Maximus and Varian watch on. "Let's try this one that I like to call 'the simmer'." He expertly raises an eyebrow, and puckers his lips ever so slightly. But when Hook Foot attempts it, he makes an expression so terrifying that it will forever haunt Varian's nightmares. Maximus even gallops away with a horrified whinny.

Hook Foot stomps over to Rapunzel, giving her 'the simmer.' "Let's... not worry about simmering," She tells him. "All you have to do is be yourself. Just say whatever comes naturally!"

"Huh..." Hook Foot says as he thinks. "How can my armpits be so clammy and yet so itchy at the same time? That's new... I wonder if I should have that checked out." Rapunzel seems less sure about her own advice after this.

Meanwhile, Varian is taking mental notes. Be yourself, say what comes naturally... He does all of that around Cassandra already. He's always been comfortable with who he is. Or, at least, who he is when he's not being an angry, vengeful, kingdom-attacking villain. That's a side of himself he hopes he never sees again. But I guess I could work on speaking my mind more often, he thinks.

"Straighten that back," Eugene is now telling Hook Foot.

Rapunzel shakes her head. "Sit however you want," she tells Hook Foot.

"You gotta put your best foot forward," Eugene continues. "And in this case, I'm gonna let you decide which one that is."

"The important thing is that you're comfortable," Rapunzel says.

"Comfort's got nothing to do with it," Eugene says. "It's about igniting the fires of passion. And that won't happen if sparks aren't flying, you know."

"What does that even mean?" Rapunzel asks, beginning to grow irritated.

"Trust me Blondie, I've gone on tons of dates!" Eugene says.

"You have?" Rapunzel says as Varian facepalms. Even he knows you never admit something like that!