Hollands & Haz Imagines

My Angel - T. Holland

Osterfield!Reader

Hamilrequest #37

"I may not live to see our glory..."

Song: Laurens Interlude

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Since you've been gone, Tom has been struggling to be the perfect single father out there. He claimed that he didn't need any help even though everyone can see that he needed it. Tom wanted to figure things out for himself and while that's great, he knew it was okay to ask help from time to time. Although he knew this, he still refused to ask for help.

Your two children have been Tom's top priority and it was hard for him to be a single father and an actor at the same time. Your youngest, Khalil, started kindergarten and your eldest, Megan, started year 3 and Tom didn't want to ruin that especially when she told him that she loved every single second of school.

Today was one of those days where Tom felt like shit, because he missed Megan's talent show and he accidentally threw Khalil's 'gift' for him (which was just crumpled tinfoil covered in glue and blue glitter). He honestly didn't know what to do, because you weren't there to help him.

"Fuck deadly illnesses." he said to himself out loud.

Tom couldn't sleep so, he decided it'd be the best time to finally store away your things in the boxes he bought and labeled two months ago. He didn't have the heart to put away your things before, because he knew he would break down as soon as he would open your closet.

Tom stood up from his desk and walked to the corner of the room where the boxes were stacked. He took the top one that was labelled "TO KEEP" in bold letters.

He set the box on the floor at his side of the bed. He walked to the closet and opened it with a heavy sigh. He took all of your clothes that were hung and threw them on the bed. Next, he grabbed your folded shirts and put them on the bed as well. He went back to close the closet but he stopped when he found a notebook that he's never seen before. He took it and closed the closet.

He sat on the bed opened the notebook and read the first page: Y/N's Thoughts.

He chuckled and flipped to the next page.

Note to self:
Use this notebook to write down important stuff. It's like a diary, but at the same time it isn't. This might come in handy for marriage and parenting x

"Maybe she got this when we were engaged." Tom said to himself as he flipped through every page. He found little anecdotes and a few marriage tips that you thought would help. He also found the recipe to his favorite dish and he remembered the time you cooked it for him.

He also found what you wrote after Megan was born.

Note to self:
Omg Tom and I are officially parents! This means it's time to lose sleep. Tom and I got this under control, though. We have each other ALWAYS x

Tom read this and didn't try to hold back his tears. He flipped through more pages and he eventually reached the time Khalil was born.

Note to self:
Tom and I are parents again! Being a parent is tiring and draining, but I love it. I don't know if Tom loves being a parent, but I think he does. He's a great father and I have no doubt that he'll be a great father to our son x

Tom smiled at that. There were times when he would doubt himself, but you would always be there to assure him that he's doing an amazing job as a husband and father. It just hurts that you wouldn't be there to remind him that anymore.

Tom flipped through more until he reached a letter addressed to him.

Dearest Tom,

By the time you read this letter, you know that I'm gone. We both know that I wouldn't live that long as soon as we found out that I was sick. I just want to say thank you for keeping me happy especially on my final days when I felt that I was going to go already.