just for you (years 3-5)

chapter 46

"no, no you must've been-"

"i know what i saw" daphne says, "besides when he saw me come in he freaked, jumped away from her" she shakes her head, "prat knew he had fucked up"

"he's unbelievable" i mutter, looking down at my food

we sit in silence for most of breakfast. i don't see draco ever come in. after we finish eating, we decide to go back to the common room to play chess (term doesn't start for another week, so we have lots of free time). we're sitting on the couches in front of the fire, which are in the center of the room. i can see the carrow sisters sitting on two armchairs, a little further in the back.

"draco hi.." i hear after 20 minutes. i look back, seeing flora standing now, talking to draco as he comes downstairs. he instantly makes eye contact with me, holding my gaze while flora talks. daphne and pansy aren't paying attention, they're in the middle of a round.

"excuse me" he mumbles, walking past flora, and up to me. i whip my head back around quickly, holding my breath as i hear him coming. he leans on his elbows against the back of the couch, his head landing next to mine.

"hey" he whispers. i look over at him sideways, without turning my head, i see that he's.... smiling. must not know that i've heard about him and flora last night.

"hello" i say, not looking over at him

"do you want to go for a walk?"

"not particularly" i shrug

i see his eyebrows come down, and his smile fade slightly, he leans forward a bit more, "are you alright?"

"that depends" i turn my head to him, "is there anything you would like to tell me?"

"i don't think so" he laughs, "seriously, what's gotten into you?" he nudges my shoulder

"stop playing around, malfoy" i glare at him. as i look back, i can see flora staring at us. she glares at me slightly, like i'm the one to blame, not him.

"woah, last naming me?" he still smiles, laughing and standing up a little, bringing himself up onto his hands while still leaning forward

"pretty sure you deserve it" i narrow my eyes, flipping my hair as i look back to the fireplace. i try and catch daphne or pansy's eyes from where they're sitting around the table, but they're engaged with each other, not looking over.

"after what happened last night-?" he says with a smirk

"yeah, let's talk about what happened last night" i raise my eyebrows, looking back up at him

he looks confused for a second, then says slowly, "well, i just thought-"

"you thought wrong, draco" i shake my head, "i'm not falling for all this" i stand up, turning to face him, "i have plans today. with cedric" i grab the notebook we've been using to work out clues for the tournament, holding it tightly in one arm.

"cedric?" he says as i start to walk away. he had to raise his voice slightly, and he sighs as he looks around, noticing others watching us. they all go back to their own business after a few seconds, and draco approaches me, grabbing my arm and talking in a hushed tone, "but we-?"

"what? we kissed?" i shrug my arm out of his grip, "clearly it didn't mean as much to you as i thought it did" i snap at him, storming out of the common room.

in the hallway i can hear him coming up behind me, but i don't turn back. i figure if i get far enough away he'll give up, it's not like he would- "it didn't mean as much?!" - yell in the hall. i stop in my tracks, looking back over my shoulder. draco stands, breathing heavily at the opposite end of the corridor. i turn completely to face him, feeling fury building inside me.

"not if you kissed another girl the same night!" i shout back. he staggers a bit, clearly not expecting me to bring that up. a few students in neighboring hallways stop, looking over at us before continuing on

"y/n i-" he stammers, rushing to get closer to me

"you can't lie about this one, draco" i take a few steps back, "daphne saw you" he reaches out trying to take my hand, "don't touch me!" i shriek, pulling my hand back, and bring my notebook across my chest with my other arm, using it like a shield, "i can't believe i thought this would work out" i scoff, "you're nothing but a-"

"i only kissed her because i was upset! i wasn't thinking straight, it's not the same-"

"i don't care if it's the same or not you still did it-"

"i was upset! you don't understand the situation-"

"well i would be happy for you to fill me in!"

he stares at me silently, seeming to struggle to find the words to explain themselves. because there is no good explanation. he sighs, looking down at his feet

"i- i was...." he trails off

"upset?" i raise my eyebrow, "then you could have talked to me!"

"well you were off dancing with ced-"

"oh so you snogged the girl who was most convenient?" i laugh, "mm right that makes me feel so much better-"

"you were with ced-"

"he was my date draco! what did you expect-!"

"we had just kissed-!"

"so we kiss and i'm not allowed to dance with cedric but it's alright for you to mack around with flora on the common room couch?!" i scoff, "interesting, it's funny how that one works out"

"you know that's not-"

"well, that's what i sounds like-"

"i didn't expect to come back and have you run off with him-!"

"well maybe if you had asked me-"

he rolls his eyes, wiping his hand across his forehead, "not this again"

"not this again?" i can't help but laugh, "you've got to be joking"

"i'm completely serious" he crosses his arms, raising his brow

"so am i!" i stare back at him, hardening my face, "if you had asked me, i would have been dancing with you. but you didn't ask me draco!" i argue, "it's your own fault that i was with him"

"then why did you kiss me, huh?" he shrugs as he poses the question

"because i like you, you bloody idiot!" i scream, too worked up at this point to care if anyone hears, "or at least" i lower my voice, staring him dead in the eye, "i thought i did"

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i storm away from draco, turning corner after corner until i'm sure i've lost him. i stop, out of breath and my face covered in tears. i hate being like this. i don't think of myself as weak.. i've built up a thick skin from the years without my father, but draco always seems to find a way to break me down. i lean back against the cool stone wall, sliding down and sitting. i let my notebook slip from my hands onto the floor, and pull my knees up to my chest, resting my head down. the hallway is empty, i don't even know where i am honestly, i just kept running. once i've steadied my breathing and cleaned up my face, i stand back up, looking around and trying to regain my bearings.

i walk down the hall further, searching for anything familiar... or at least someone to ask. eventually i happen upon a portrait who is able to point me in the direction of the library, where i was meant to meet cedric. i don't even want to know how late i am as i rush over, taking turns quickly and nearly knocking over a few people along the way. once i arrive, i wait outside the door for a moment, catch my breath, and check my reflection in one of the suits of armor, before pressing open the doors and walking in.

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okay okay i wanted to put this in too. draco's pov of what happened at yule ball will be in a few chapters and that will ~explain~ some things lol

new chap will be out tmrw!

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