She didn't know

2

Ally

"Mom, no, I'm not staying here. We need to get back to normal. We need to go home." I know she is only doing this because she cares, but I don't need coddling. I need my husband back, but she can't give me that. "Please just understand. Thank you for the help the past year, but it's time for Xale and I to go home full time." I finish looking into the eyes that match mine across the kitchen island. So brown they almost look black, and yet she's able to convey everything she thinks and feels with a single glance.

Narrowing her eyes, scanning my face my mother walks towards me and engulfs me into a warm hug. "Okay, but call me, and you can come back whenever. Or I could come stay with you." My mom says.

Wrapping my arms around her, patting her back, I roll my eyes. I'd probably die from suffocation any minute now if I didn't leave soon. I'd appreciate the change in our relationship if her coddling wasn't getting out of hand. I needed to get back into my work and figure out how to be a single parent. I can't do that here. I appreciate the help, don't get me wrong, she just doesn't understand. Her and my dad are still happily married thirty-six years later. I won't have that. My husband died. Here one day and gone the next. She doesn't know the kind of pain I feel right now, and she might never know.

Looking out of the kitchen window into the backyard of the house I grew up in, I watch Xale playing with Boomer. Unwrapping myself from my mothers arms, I make my way over to the back door and put on the boots that sat beside the door my mother always kept there. Walking outside, I plaster a fake smile on my face.

"Hey, bub, go say goodbye while I load up, okay? We are leaving in five." I say. Standing on the back deck. Xale turns and starts running his way over, Boomer hopping up and down, still excited from playing. Crouching with my arms stretched out, Xale runs into me and his warmth, his love, it numbs the pain I feel enough that I wish I could hold him forever.

"Go give grandpa and grandma big hugs and kisses, okay?" I say while he buries his face into my neck. Kissing the top of his head, I put my hands on both sides of his face and look him in his eyes while saying. "I love you. Let's go home." Replying with a nod, Xale makes his way inside. I pat Boomer's golden head, opening the back door, letting Boomer in, then go inside and upstairs to my old room. Grabbing our packed bags off my childhood bed and making my way to the front door, I almost bump into my father standing there with Xale on his hip, kissing his face over and over, causing him to giggle.

Loading up my new truck was quick. Shutting the tail gate while my mom helped Xale get into his seat and buckle up. I've got to get him a booster soon, he's getting too big for his car seat. Dad's standing on the front porch, quiet and solid. My father never had to say much, he never had much to say at all, but his silence did more than words ever could. My mother talked, and my dad acted. So, I wave, and he waves back. "Love you." He mouths, and I smile. Blowing him a kiss. Hearing mom shut the car door, I turn and am constricted in yet another hug. I can feel her tears hit my shoulder, and I feel bad for leaving, but it's what I need.

"Mom, we'll be fine, I promise. I'll call you when we get home. Every Sunday, like always. I love you." I say into her ear, and she pushes me back.

Her hands squeeze my shoulders as her eyes burn into mine. "If you need anything, anything at all, job ust call. I love you." She smiles, despite the tears building up in the corners of her eyes.

Feeling tears build up in mine, I wrap her in my arms quickly and wipe my eyes with the backs of my hand before pulling apart. Opening my car door and calling Boomer to jump in before getting in myself, I start the vehicle and rolled down my window. Pulling out of the driveway I exhale a breath of relief before waving and making my way home. Finally.