Sunflower Reviews

Lizona - Let's Plan My Murder

Reviewer: Lizona (persephoinis )

Review: Let's Plan My Murder

Client: ShwetaKumari426

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Cover

The cover is really cute and instantly grabbed my attention. I love the way it portrays the plotline and yet also manages to show the comical theme through lightheartedness. Also, the font that is used there is very quirky and easy-going. Overall, your cover gives a very good impression.

Title

I absolutely love your title. It causes an instant act of surprise within the readers and has a beautiful quirk to it. The moment I saw the title, I knew that it was a book, I would've picked up.

Blurb

Your blurb had just the right elements that it generally requires to hook the readers in. I loved the way that you gave a mini scope about our protagonist and the crafty introduction to her love interest. AND ESPECIALLY THE LAST LINE!!

"After listening to his argument, she can't help but admit...he's got a point."

Ending lines to a blurb really matter because they decide whether they are going to make the book or break it. And in your case, it made it - compelling, bizarre, and very alluring.

Plot & pacing

Your plot has a very unique spin on the general romance genre and I couldn't help but swoon over it. I loved the way that the cheating in your book was shown in a different way rather than the general 'walking into them' trope. Other than that, even though it would seem cliche from the outside, it wasn't and instead very different from the other romance stories.

Your pacing regarding the main plot was perfect. When I first started with your book, I thought that it was going to draw out unnecessarily but as I started flipping the pages, I realized that flow was very accurate and very much justified to the plot. However, I personally didn't like the pace of the romance. Being a sucker for slow-burn, I think the romance felt quite rushed and not something swoon-worthy. Also, this was my opinion and hence I think that other readers' may differ.

Writing Style & Grammar

There weren't any earth-shattering errors that I found except for a few misused punctuations.

Here's an instance:

When I say nothing. He resumes.

I think the use of period here really disrupts the flow and is also inappropriate. It should have been:

When I say nothing, he resumes.

Apart from this, I think the grammar section is pretty good to go.

And now coming to the writing style - it was technically and generally okay. Actually what I truly think about your writing style is that it lacks a sense of artistry. I liked the range of your vocabulary and the general way of prose but I think there was a little bit of eloquence and 'showing the scenery' missing.

Sometimes it felt a little dull and almost as if you were telling us, instead of showing. Although, it wasn't something hugely eye-catching (I noticed because I was critiquing the work) and could be easily fixed with editing. However, there was another thing that irked me a lot - the timestamps.

When you are writing a chapter, you do not have to mention the times every time the protagonist does something different. LET IT FLOW. LET THE READERS USE THEIR IMAGINATION.

When we say 'SHOW, NOT TELL', we mean that describe your setting as leniently as possible while keeping in mind to keep rooms for the readers to implement their own imaginations.

Hence I would highly recommend removing the timestamps and also a few of the unnecessary page-breakers.

Apart from these, I don't think there were many concerning errors.

Character development & Setting

To be honest, there wasn't much substance to the setting. In fact, there were only a few times when you provided with few descriptions of your setting. I have noticed that you spent more time expressing what the character thinks or their reactions and very or absolutely non-existential time setting up the surroundings.

When you write a chapter, you should not only focus on the thoughts that run through the protagonist's mind but also pay attention to the details. Remember that even the tiniest of details always provides a 3D picture to the readers and also helps in bringing the characters into life and flesh.

Now talking about the characters, I'll start off with the protagonist. Ava in general seems like a very sweet, innocent, and shy girl, but I just couldn't really tolerate the way she was about to commit suicide for a boy. Not only does it put up a very wrong message in front of the world, but also it makes her personality seem dull and without a backbone. I know that she was mentally breaking down and thinking of the other factors in her life but it still doesn't sit right with me that Ava initiated the plan of suicide just because her boyfriend BROKE UP with her!! Also, the fact that she took a complete stranger into her home was another turn off for me. I mean he could have been a serial killer. Hence this was a real turn-off for me, but I have faith in that in the later chapters, a great deal of character development will be represented.

And now talking about Noah, I was completely taken off-guard by his initial attitude (in a good way). And it's safe to say that I was really intrigued when he told her his plan of fake murdering Ava. Although, I did not like the way he kissed her and maybe it was just me but it seemed too rash and kind of clumsy. Apart from that, I find this character genuinely interesting and I'm really looking forward to seeing more of him.

Other than that, I think the characters of Aiden and her mom was pretty well rounded up in their own ways. However, when Aiden came over to Ava's apartment in order to break up with her, I felt the process very rushed. AGAIN. It was like one minute he was being this sweet and caring guy and the next minute telling her that he was exhausted of her. Thus, I would recommend slowing the pace down in case of transitioning the emotions, otherwise, the readers would never be able to relate or feel sympathized.

Personal Enjoyment

If I'm going to judge my enjoyment of the story as per the plot, then I would say that I really really enjoyed it. However, the biggest bummer for me was the characters (especially the protagonist) and her ex-boyfriend. Although, I do believe that this book has the tremendous potential to outshine even the other good books if worked on and edited properly.

Hope I wasn't too harsh (and if I was, I'm sorry) and that you can actually benefit from this review. Good luck! You've got this!