Sunflower Reviews

Lizona - Okay? Okay

Reviewer: Lizona (persephoinis )

Review: Okay? Okay

Client: AnuradhaAjit (AnuradhaAjit )

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Cover
The cover was not at all appropriate for the romance novel and definitely not eye-grabbing. There was a picture of pen and (possibly) paper which I initially thought symbolized arranged marriage but then thought against it. Even the font of the title was way too the mainstream and the placement of it made it seem really plain-looking.

Hence, I highly recommend changing it into something more romantic or at least figure-based. And also judging from the theme of your story, I think even a vector-based cover would look good.

If you want to make your covers then you can download fonts from Devian art, DaFont.com, etc. And if you think that you are incapable of making one, or simply don't have the time, then you can just order one from the various graphic shops in Wattpad.

Title
The title "Okay?Okay" seemed a little too blunt and vague for the romantic theme of the story. Also, it does not at all pique the interest of a reader and instead just seemed like a careless attempt to carve out a quirky title.

Also, I don't think I found any connection of it with the entire plot whatsoever, and hence, would highly recommend changing it into something much romantic.

Blurb
We all know that the blurb is the hook to a book. Of course, the cover is the one that lures the readers in, but the blurb is like an entryway to the world you've created. So it is a vital element that will decide the fate and popularity of your story.

Now talking about the blurb of your story, I really liked the snippet of the scene that you provided in the beginning. It was insightful about the plot or the scenario in the book, but I think that it somehow failed to deliver the character sketch or anything even remotely brief about the characters.

And then, there was a snippet of the protagonist's perspective reading a diary which felt really weird and out of the place. I did not find any context to it whatsoever before that. And hence, I think the blurb would look more complacent if that part is removed.

Now, coming to the majorly important section of your blurb, I felt that the emotion and tones were kinda off. And this is because you did not at all play with the words, or hook in the conflict of the book after introducing the characters. You just gave a very brief intro about Amaira and then straight jumped to the conflict of the book, which made the whole thing seem really bland and flat.

Thus, I think it would make your blurb a lot better if you cut down the unnecessary parts in it and instead do a proper character introduction, then a brief setting of the background, and then using the conflict of the story.

Plot & pacing
As a huge fan of the trope of "forced marriage", I was super excited about this book and was really intrigued by the premise. However, as the story proceeded, I found the initial spark of it to dim down. It was almost as if the story took a notch down in its entertaining department. However, I'm not saying that it was flat and unreadable but I did found some of the parts to be a little tedious.

Now even though, the pacing of the book was near to proper, I did find the pacing of Amaira and Corbin's relationship to move weirdly fast. Since it was "forced marriage", I was expecting more resistance more Amaira's side and maybe Corbin would try to convince her to agree to the marriage. I think this would have created a lot of drama which would have been more fun to read.

However, she quickly agreed to it and I know that Corbin was a nice guy but I think if you would have created a slow-burn romance here, the plot would have flown more beautifully and made sense.

Although, I do think that the direction of your plot is correct but I would highly recommend rewriting the romantic aspect as it seems quite sudden and unrealistic.

Character development & Setting
Setting and world-building of any story is a very important aspect of the book. Without a strong and up-holding world, the readers cannot dive into your book and have the story revolving around themselves.

And now talking about your setting and world-building – there wasn't really much there. As much as I found a few details littered throughout the story, I couldn't really relate to them or found them vivid enough. Hence, I think you should pay really close attention to the surroundings of your characters and for this – visualizing the scene actually works wonders!

And now talking about the protagonist, I think she was okay. Amaira was an independent, strong, and confident woman who stands up for what is right and wrong. She was also a very kind and loyal person, which I really loved the most. However, there were moments when her character felt really bland and indecisive. For example, when her Mamu slapped her, I expected her to protest and fight back since I thought she was the confident lady. But instead, she accepted it and shied away. Another instance is, obviously the marriage.

In Amaira's POV, we already found that she was not agreeing to the marriage but when Corbin himself coaxed her into giving in, SHE DID! This just showed how indecisive her character was. And hence, I would highly recommend creating a slow burn pace in the romance to not only let the plot flow but also to let the characters grow.

Corbin- Honestly, I don't know what to say about him. Apart from the fact that his character felt excessively flat, I think there was absolutely zero character development. However, I'm hoping that it changes in the later chapters – which is why I'm not going to say much now and wait to see how the character turns out.

In the end, I highly recommend imploring the depths of the characters. You can do this by adding minor details to your characters (like the wallpaper of the phone, any ornamental emotion, etc.) or giving detailed emotional scenes. This not only makes your characters much more relatable but would also flesh them out and hence help in reaching out to your readers faster and more effectively.

Personal Enjoyment
I really enjoyed the plot despite its shortcomings and I do think that when polished, it will turn out to be amazing. And although there were a few bumps here and there, it was still a very entertaining ride.

Hope I wasn't too harsh (and if I was, I'm sorry) and that you can benefit from this review. Good luck! You've got this!