Sunflower Reviews

Ria - Empire of Jodese: New Day

Reviewer: fire_dragon_24

Review: Empire of Jodese: New Day

Client: IamTAX

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Cover and Blurb: The cover was awesome, and fit the book perfectly. My only problem with it is the fact that it's blurry. However, this problem can easily be fixed if the author converts the image to a PDF form, and then takes a screenshot, before uploading it. Otherwise, the cover needs no changes. The blurb was great, and contained the right amount of information. It gave away the theme of the book without giving away the plot, and that is exactly what a blurb should do. Still, I have provided another version of the blurb. The author can choose to keep the original one, or use my version.

My version of the blurb:

Laquadias one and only dream was to wake up every morning with the woman that he loved wrapped up in his arms. Unfortunately, the dream was not, and could never be, a reality.

As the heir to the throne, Laquadias destiny was decided right from the moment that he was born. And what was his destiny, you ask? Well, his destiny was to make his nation proud of him by murdering anyone who dared to lambast his beloved homeland.

However, on the day that he had to choose between the woman that he loved and his homeland, he decided to choose a different path, to distort his destiny into one that gave him everything he wanted. Unfortunately, this wasn't exactly the best thing that he could do. Why? Because when he woke up the next morning, he'd lost both of the things that he held close to his heart.

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Grammar: Overall, the grammar was pretty good. However, I did notice a few mistakes in every paragraph. Some were noticeable, and some were barely visible. I can't point out all of the mistakes, but I have given a few examples below.

Example 1: Thunderous sounds of of warplanes engaged in intense dogfights were roaring and zooming like a lighting strike.

 

Should be: lightning strike.

 

Example 2: Grey smokes trailed behind them drawing straight lines as they went towards their targets.

 

Should be: Grey smoke (should be smoke, because unless referring to a cigar or other such objects, smoke does not have a plural) trailed behind them, drawing straight lines as they went towards their targets. (I have added a comma after "them")

 

Example 3: The ground was immediately split like jigsaw puzzles throwing the pieces everywhere.

 

Should be: The ground was immediately split like a jigsaw puzzle, throwing the pieces everywhere.

 

Example 4: Big black guns hanged on their shoulders.

 

Should be: Big, black guns hung on their shoulders.

 

Unfortunately, these are only a few of the mistakes that I spotted. However, if the book is sent to an editing center after the author has reviewed it, I am sure that these mistakes will be no more.

Plot: The plot was simply outstanding! I loved it. The originality was out of this world, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Although I only read a few chapters, I could see where the story was going. However, it was not cliché at all, which made me extremely impressed. The book had a hooking factor, and for some reason, I cannot pinpoint what exactly it is that hooked me to this book. Nonetheless, the hooking factor was there, and that's what matters. I really like the descriptions of the dystopian world, and feel that it is important for any dystopian book to include a lot of description to give the reader a visual of the unfamiliar world. This book did not disappoint, and came with a bunch of amazing descriptions, with extraordinary vocabulary, and unique but correct wording.

The structure of the plot was also great, and I didn't get confused even once. That is great, because readers can easily get confused in a dystopian book. The author managed to keep the readers hooked, and informed, but still included the element of suspense. I really, really love the plot, and praise the author on it.

Characterization: The characters were unique, and I really loved their personalities. Overall, the character development was also extraordinary, and done at a good pace. The characters were developed slowly, but surely, and nothing seemed too rushed. Overall, the characterization doesn't need to be improved at all, and is perfect in it's original form.

Overall enjoyment: I really did enjoy this book, and loved the unique but interesting plot of the book. Other than the grammar, everything about the book intrigued me, and left me impressed. I'm very happy with how this book is written, and think it can reach great levels of success with just some simple adjustments.

For the author: Your book is awesome, and I really enjoyed it! Thank you so much for asking me to review this piece of art!

-Ria