Sunflower Reviews

Kinal - Egg Journey

Reviewer: kinalhariya

Review: Egg Journey

Client: nafisa_tabby_rida

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Title and cover

Title is unique and it grabs the attention of a reader. The title itself gives me the vibes of either humour or fantasy.

Cover is absolutely relatable to the title and eye-catching too. It isn't too fancy but it is enough to convey what the story is about.

Both Title and Cover make a great deal here. I would definitely pick out this book to read after seeing these two factors.

Blurb:

Blurb isn't written in the usual way. However, by no means it doesn't grab my attention. It is unique and promises a lot of fun experience for the story inside.

I am really excited to see how the story unfolds, especially since it is claimed to be a true story.

Moving towards the chapter,

Hatching eggs is not common for me as specified in the story, but still it was a nice and unique way to start.

Second paragraph made me really intrigued to see what will come next.

[I went overboard and did it twice, both times that ended up with no success.]

Oh my gosh!! Putting the tape on the crack of the egg was so hilarious.

Character or should I say the Author must have a really amazing childhood. I really wonder what all things the young child would have tried.

The innocence was clear throughout the story. Making mistakes and rectifying them in a way that only a child could think of, crying over a loss, but getting excited again. All the traits were portrayed really well.

I like the writing style. Information is provided properly. The comments on the main lead's own actions, in the middle of the story, gave a really fun experience.

Story was hilarious and really interesting, making me want to read more about it.

I love the use of Ta-da in italics...it has a nice ring to it and I can imagine a young seven year old girl speaking it with actions.

There wasn't much description, but it didn't really break the flow of the story or made me unable to imagine. So it's all good for me.

The whole story was written nicely, making me laugh until the last sentence.

Suggestions:

Instead of

→Later when they had come home and I had forgotten about it, one of them laid their head on the pillow and found this lumpy thing under it.

You can write

Later when they came home, I had forgotten about it.

Also I would advise to split the sentence after 'forgotten about it' and start a new one from 'one of them laid...' as the sentence seems too long and might ruin the amazing factor.

Grammar and Vocabulary:

Grammar was great. There were no visible errors. Vocabulary used is great too. Easy to understand yet not boring.

Last words,

I had a great time while reading this short story. It was really hilarious and made my day. There wasn't a single dull moment from start to end. It flowed so smoothly that I really wished for more. Ending it with a pinch of sarcasm, was really awesome.

Great work!! Keep writing such awesome stories.

Thanks for choosing me.