Sunflower Reviews

Mila - The Day After Prom

Reviewer: Mila_333

Review: The Day After Prom

Client: OriginalSofieScott

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Title

The title actually doesn't fit the story. It may correspond to only 2 percent of the plot since the prom takes place at the very end and then it leaps to the epilogue. As such, the main concentration of the plot is something else, more like the journey during senior high school to Prom day. Second thing is that it's crucial to note that the title has to be enticing enough to attract readers. The current title does have a solid connection to the plot and is as such irrelevant in this case. I suggest you try to think of a better title and come up with something enticing as well.

Blurb

A blurb is deemed to be an overall reflection of the story. And, unfortunately, I found some grammatical mistakes in the blurb. For instance, you shouldn't insert a comma after Katelyn in the first sentence. There's also a typo noted: "Will she choose the right..." These are small mistakes, but they are consequential when found in a blurb. If you have a reader whose pet peeve's grammar issues, he/she will drop the book and will move on to something else. Moreover, seeing grammar mistakes in a blurb may also discourage readers to start the story as it's natural for them to think that the book will be full of grammar issues. Hence, the correction of those mistakes is preponderant.

Now coming to the content of the blurb itself, I have to say that it's relevant to the plot and it also contains the required elements that need to be included. However, I found that there were too many questions asked, for instance, you could have given a statement and then ask the related questions. You only said she's a typical high school senior and then prom is only a week away, then you've asked five rhetorical questions in return which is a bit too vast since you haven't really provided more information to readers for them to ponder. These might leave them uninterested, you can therefore provide some solid statements, for example, you can simply mention Ryder as well since he's the male protagonist.

Cover

The cover is nice and exudes teen fiction vibes. Considering your current title, the cover corresponds totally to that. Here, the girl in the prom dress featuring Katelyn goes well with the plot since there's the prom scene, the cover can pass here. But, naming the title 'The Day after Prom' will be taking it too far. The title should be written as such: 'The Day after Prom', basically the letter A in the word after should be in small letters and not capitalized. The font size and style is nice, although placing your Author name at the very bottom of the cover instead of below the title will be much more suitable.

Grammar

There were quite a lot of grammar mistakes noted, I have tried to point them out at the beginning, but it became a lot and hence, I decided to make a summary here. Firstly, I noticed a lack of punctuation marks when you're closing a direct speech. For example, if Katelyn is saying Hey to someone, it should be like this:

"Hey!" That is you need to put the exclamation mark before you put the closing dialogue tag.

Another example would be:

"I am going home."

You have to put the period when you end the sentence.

Moreover, there are certain sentence fragments that you need to consider revising. They didn't sound right or the appropriate words were not used. I have commented at such places and most you've already corrected.