Sunflower Reviews

Relationship For Convenience

Review: Relationship For Convenience

Client: frecklednicky

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**As is the case with all my reviews: THERE ARE SPOILERS AHEAD. If you are not the author of this book, please go and read 'Relationship for Convenience' before reading this review! Thank you 💖**

Title, Cover and Blurb

Your title does a great job of summarising the core of your story, leaving enough mystery to hook the reader. I must admit, however, that there is something ever so slightly off about it. Maybe consider re-wording it to 'A Convenient Relationship' or even just 'Convenience'. I'm a sucker for understated titles, so perhaps it's more a case of us having different creative styles 😊 Nevertheless, I feel like the cover complements the contents of the book. I love the symbolism of two people sitting back-to-back: they are so close to each other yet looking out on two completely different perspectives. The blurb offers an intriguing window into Anna's situation and pulls the reader into wondering how she could have allowed herself to get so invested in Alex, and the intricacies of their relationship.

First Thoughts

Your first chapter is a strong start – a jump in the deep end, so to speak. The reader is dropped right in at the moment where Anna discovers the truth about her relationship with Alex. You communicate her frustration very well and Alex's passive or, as you describe, 'bored tone', only adds to this. The line 'they were more like friends with benefits but without the friendship part' really pulled at my heartstrings. I don't know if you have ever been in a relationship like this yourself (I hope you haven't) but you do an excellent job of captivating the devastation it wreaks on the person who is more invested. The bombshell that Alex is engaged to another woman is delivered very well. I am a huge fan of showing through dialogue and this really impressed me. I especially liked how it ended on a cliff-hanger – it made me want to click 'Continue reading next part' right away!

I don't know if not revealing Alex's name in the first chapter was a conscious decision but I'm completely on board with it. It added to the focus placed on Anna and I found it extremely significant that this man, who has been so incredibly cruel and such a huge part of Anna's life until now, was left nameless for that moment/scene.

Plot

I liked the time jump between the first chapter/prologue and the second chapter. It was well navigated and natural. The introduction of Nicole was also well timed and worked well to propel the narrative forward – I actually thought, "Great! She's going to get a chance to get over that scum-bag, Alex." And then, BAM. He goes and ruins everything with three simple words. It made my heart sink for her. Anna's anger towards Alex after his call was a pleasant surprise to me. I thought she would maybe crumble to pieces and try to go looking for him – but she didn't. Loved that.

Chapter three was an equally pleasant surprise with the switch to Alex's point of view. I've always really enjoyed being allowed into the mind of the 'villain' (so to speak), it forces the reader to perceive the antagonist in a completely different light and it was very well done! Getting the story of how they met from Alex's perspective gave additional depth to the plot, as well as his relationship with Anna.

The arrival of Luke threw an exciting spanner into the works. I thought the picture you added of the name he put in her phone was really cute. The friendship between the three girls (Anna, Nichole and Bianca) was also well portrayed, particularly in chapter 7. Female characters being jealous and competitive with each other has become an extremely unfortunate and unrealistic trope, which you have challenged. I found it very refreshing! I adore how well Nicole and Anna know each other. We could all do with a friend like that! I found Nicole's character, like Anna's, very relatable and believable. The dynamic between her and Anna flowed beautifully throughout your chapters and highlighted the nuances of their personalities.

The plot twist in chapter 8 was a real shock! My reaction was like Nicole's (haha). Overall, I think the plot was very exciting and momentous – with bundles of drama! No conversation was pointless, each had the purpose of furthering the plot. One thing I would have liked to have seen more of was physical description, both of the characters and their surroundings. You did such a good job of describing emotion so it is definitely not the quality of description that is lacking, just the quantity of it. I appreciate that some writers prefer to leave the physicality of their characters up to the readers' imagination but, for me, there was just too little in the way of external/sensory detail (sights, smells, etc.). I think a bit more description would really help to flesh out the scenes and make the book feel meatier.

As it is, the pace seemed a bit too quick. (Specifically, the jump between chapter 10 and 11 – I think an extra chapter is needed between them. How did Nicole find out about Raymond's death? Was she only told on the day of the service that he had passed? It just all happened a little too quickly and out of the blue to me.) I wanted to know more and I definitely feel that there is enough room to pad out the chapters whilst maintaining the flow of the story.

On a similar note, your characters were original and enjoyable but I was left wanting to know more. Alex and Luke remained at the side-lines a little. I appreciate that Anna had gone to stay with Nicole to get away from/help herself get over Alex but I feel like there wasn't enough mention of him. For example, in chapter 9, I know he still has feelings for Anna and his engagement to Claudia is a sham but it's never explained why exactly he wants to put the wedding off for at least a year? Is he hoping Claudia will change her mind? Or that he will? Or that Anna will come back to him? Since he and Anna are the two in the one-sided relationship, I would have expected a bit more Alex time – but that is just my opinion and I don't know how you intend to evolve the story! The way you tied all the characters together at the end of chapter 11 was brilliant! I did not see it coming.

Unfortunately, there were only 11 chapters so this review is a little shorter than I would have liked – please keep writing!

Characters and Writing Style

Your writing style is very quick and entertaining. You have such a talent for plot twists! I was never once bored and always excited to read the next chapter. If I had to offer advice, it would be to watch out for point of view swaps. There were a handful scattered throughout the story and it can be hard to realise you're doing it, especially if you're like me and have borderline split personality disorder from all the characters in your head 😂 but it is something to be weary of as it can pull the reader out of the moment or confuse them. An example is the phone conversation between Nicole and Anna in chapter 2.

Technical Issues

There were a few issues with grammar that are easily correctable: commas where there should be full stops and vice versa; the odd missing speech mark; the need for a paragraph break. Though, nothing was a big enough problem that it greatly damaged the quality of your writing. As mentioned in your Author's Note, this is your first book and will require many redrafts to catch out all the grammar hiccups – in fact, I don't think I've ever read a published book without spotting at least one typo or mistake in grammar (even books on the NY Times Best Sellers list!).

On the subject of your official Author's Note (chapter), however, I would suggest that you consider re-wording it. I completely understand what you are trying to say but it comes across ever so slightly defensive. By all means, explain how it is your first book and ask that people be kind, but if you start by assuming people are going to be mean about your work, it won't put them in a good mood going into the book. Wattpad is generally a friendly community whose members just want to help each other become better writers! You can't avoid getting the odd mean comment (unfortunately) – you just have to ignore it and move on. Have faith in your talent as a writer because you have it in spades!

Conclusion

As a reader, I really appreciated your end of chapter author notes. They were engaging and a lovely touch to get your audience involved in the evolution of the story. 'Relationship for Convenience' has a LOT of potential. I only wish there were more chapters! Keep writing because you are on to a winner 👍