Sunflower Reviews

Kinal - Phoenix: The Rise of a King

Reviewer: kinalhariya

Review: Phoenix: The Rise of a King

Client: booklove_coffeelove

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Title and Cover

Title emphasis on the fact that we are going to read about a powerful man. The words 'Rise of a king' makes me assume that someone had come forward to save the world and rule it. Title is fully relatable. But I won't say it is unique. Similar types of titles are there around wattpad. In my opinion, as long as it relates to the story it is good.

Cover shows different stages of main lead's life in one picture. The mix of red and yellow really gives off a thought of phoenix. Placement of Title can be changed. The word Phoenix doesn't really shine or come out in the cover. The design is really beautiful but its full potential isn't showing through. And the words 'Rise of the King' are completely invisible, so maybe it's font style can be changed.

Blurb

Blurb has a poetic feel in it. It flows really well and is so beautifully written that it is enough to grab the attention of the readers. I am really hooked by reading the blurb. I am very excited to read the emotional side of a powerful person. That feels unique and has totally grabbed my attention. Awesome blurb.

Prologue

Nice way to start the story. Starting with a founded book, gives a great base for the historic story. Just like the girls, I am too excited to see what the book enfolds.

Moving towards the chapters,

A great start indeed. The tension is heavy, everyone is unsettled yet their is hope. Many values are taught in between the story.

I love how curious the child Pratap is. And also his eagerness to grow and protect. Baby Ajabde was really cute.

I will suggest only keeping two scene breaks as the third scene break (Humayun) was too short. It can be shifted to another place or you can make that third scene a little longer to give it more importance.

Ajabde's role is shown so beautifully. Her character shines through with her intelligence, cuteness, optimism and helping nature.

In the second chapter, Pratap plans to join her father's army and that hints at their future meeting. I am really excited for that to happen.

The war talks, love for motherland, family values, siblings, everything is portrayed so beautifully.

What a scene!! When Pratap does his tilak from the soil that is mixed with her blood...just wow!!

My heart went out for the young girls who worried that getting married meant giving up their dreams. Unfortunately, this situation still prevails in many households. Only the ages are different.

The talks between Ajabde and Pratap are so cute. And his jealousy when she speaks with his brother. It's like everyone knows something is blooming yet the main leads are unaware.

*****

Characterization is done really well. Not only the main characters but the supporting characters have distinct voices as well. Everyone has a personality that shows through their actions and dialogues. I love how nothing is spelled out but it is felt.

There are two extreme qualities in Pratap that no one can think will exist together. His bravery and smartness while fighting with the known enemies but being so naive and getting fooled by the cunning family member. His strength when he fought the war and the ones who came for taxes and his breakdown while thinking he was the reason behind the vile acts, when in truth he was the victim. These extreme characteristics make his own distinct personality that I have grown to admire. It brings out an aura of innocence that is hard to find in warriors.

Ajabde is fierce, intelligent, eager to learn. She is also sarcastic and fun. There's maturity and innocence combined, making her a lively character. Ajabde's character is someone I really admire.

It is easy to imagine the characters and their actions but the descriptions of surroundings are lacking. I don't really mind it but I know many readers like to have a whole picture of the scene. So Author can work on it.

Story flows really well. It is hard to put down the book once started.

Concept is awesome and it connects well with the readers. Story moves at a steady pace. It doesn't feel like anything is left out nor does it look like a drag.

Length of paragraphs are good. The information never feels too much. It is imparted at regular intervals.

Writing style is awesome. However, it might be hard for other readers to understand a few Indian terms.

Grammar and Vocabulary

Vocabulary is really good. I too learned a few new words from this book. It isn't complicated that makes it hard to read nor is it too simple either.

Many sentences end with an exclamation mark which I don't think is really needed. Dialogue tags shouldn't be capitalized if they aren't names. Many times, commas are missing or misplaced. Look out for typos too.

Chapter three

★Instead of throat, throar is written.

★His heart was thudding but, he knew...

Here, the comma will come before but

→His heart was thudding, but he knew..

Chapter four

★Jealous is written as jelous

Suggestion:

At the end of chapters or a separate page of glossary can be made for the words that are in Hindi or the names they are addressed with like kunwarsa, kaal, ranimasa etc.

Over all,

I thoroughly enjoyed reading this book. It was hard to stop reading once I started but I had to. I will surely read the whole book later in my free time.

The book is well written. The concept, the characters, flow; everything is at its best. Apart from some minor, negligible errors, grammar is perfect too. Awesome work!!

Thanks for choosing me. Keep writing!!