Sunflower Reviews

Lizona - Romance of the Portals

Reviewer: persephoinis

Review: Romance of the Portals

Client: kakolilaha6

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Cover

Your cover, though simple, was really beautiful and did not fail to convey a clear connection to the plot. However, the only thing that bothered me the most was the wide band of pink – on which the title was written. It seemed a little bland on the entire thing and totally pulled down the glam of the cover.

Hence, I would highly recommend getting a cover change. If you want to make your covers then you can download fonts from DevianArt, DaFont.com, etc. And if you think that you are incapable of making one, or simply don't have the time, then you can just order one from the various graphic shops in Wattpad.

Title

Your title is really beautiful and makes perfect sense with the plot of the story. People can very easily get an image of what your story is going to focus on. When I first read your title, I got the feeling that this book would totally depict an epic and alluring tale of love.

Blurb

We all know that the blurb is the hook to a book. Of course, the cover is the one that lures the readers in, but the blurb is like an entryway to the world you've created. So it is a vital element that will decide the fate and popularity of your story.

And now as we talk about your blurb, I really loved it. I'm generally very picky when it comes to the blurb, but when I read yours I felt that all the necessary elements were present there. You have brilliantly provided the readers with a brief introduction about the characters as well as incorporating the conflict just within it.

However, I think that the last paragraph where you stated that the love story of Veer and Suhaani would create a bond and that it would be told for eons, could be rephrased and spiced up a bit more. It generally gives the readers the 'epic love' kind of vibe which is good, but highly overused (for eg: Twilight, The Vampire Diaries, Dead Beautiful, etc.)

You have to create an ending line that delivers the same trope but with a stroke of uniqueness to it. And for doing that, you can end the blurb with a question(s). You can also use effective one-liners that would connect to your story without revealing too much info!

Apart from this, I think the blurb was all right!

Plot & pacing

The premise of your story is really interesting. Despite it being centered on the love between two people, there was a real conflict that concerned the protagonist. I also loved how it eventually and somehow connected to the main flow of the plot.

However, now that we talk about the pacing of your book, I think it was a little slow. As much as I think that it isn't bad to have a slow-burning pace, I would recommend spicing up the events a bit. For example, when Veer was trying to aboard the cruise Suhaani was in, it felt a little bland as there was no anticipation in it. It felt really easy.

The thing that matters the most in fantasy is the action and the thrill. You could have tried to throw a hurdle at his path – something like an attack, or any message from his portal, or anything else. It would have spiced up the entire scenario and hence would have also made the readers more anxious about what was to happen.

Apart from this, I think there was nothing else that needed much rectification.

Character development & Setting

The setting and world-building of any story is a very important aspect of the book. Without a strong and up-holding world, the readers cannot dive into your book and have the story revolving around themselves.

And now talking about the setting of your story, it was a mindblowing perfection. I absolutely devoured the description of your scenarios and there wasn't a single speck in it that was hard to imagine. I admired how you described every little minor detail starting from the way the waves crashed to the smell of the soil - it was fantastically woven.

Now before I begin with the individual dissection of the characters, I would like to point out one thing. The dynamic between the characters Veer and Suhaani was great. However, I felt that it was extremely rushed.

And while this might not be a problem for the others, but being a fan of slow-burn and angst myself, I wanted the relationship to slowly bloom and develop.

Although, I do realize and acknowledge the fact that Veer had seen her in his dreams and it was quite natural for him to feel that way. But the instant attraction and head over heels in love with a stranger from Suhaani did not work for me at all.

However, you did amazing work with the characters.

The way you created Veer to be a perfect gentleman and an absolute sucker for Suhaani was so heartwarming. I also admired his determination towards his mission and courage towards the inevitable danger.

On the other hand, Suhaani was an absolute darling. Her bubbly and compassionate personality was what made her all the more charming. Besides, we stan a smart and intellectual queen - just like Suhaani!

Writing Style & Grammar

I have literally nothing to say about your grammar and writing style as it was absolutely flawless. There wasn't a single error regarding tense or sentence construction that had put me off.

And your writing style never failed to put me in a trance. It always felt like that I was floating in a different dimension - far from reality and all its troubles. The aspect that I loved the most about it was the way you weaved the words together. They were magnificent!

Keep up the great job, author!

Personal Enjoyment

It had been a pleasant read for me apart from the few features that I have mentioned above. When fixed and revised, I would definitely like to return to it.

Hope I wasn't too harsh (and if I was, I'm sorry) and that you can benefit from this review. Good luck! You've got this!