Sunflower Reviews

Kinal - The Balcony

Reviewer: kinalhariya

Review: The Balcony

Client: ms_classic_dark_soul

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Title and Cover

Title is short and to the point. Although this is a common title among many novels, it seems to fit. You can always change it a little by adding a prefix or suffix to the balcony. Or you can name it as- If walls could talk. (Just my opinion)

Cover is relatable but not attractive enough in my opinion. A different vibrant photo(still having a balcony) can be used. And the font used can also be changed to look interesting.

Blurb

While reading the blurb, I understood that something really interesting has been thought of. However, that's a feeling I am getting and not the actual thing. The sentences need to be restructured to bring the full effect.

Below is an example, (You aren't obligated to follow it)

Looking into the lives of her neighbours through her balcony, the young lady(or her name) wondered why the world was so messed up.

It took a while for her to realize that she wasn't any different. There was a chance that she too was at fault.

If only the walls could talk, they would have already whispered so many stories silently.

Moving on to the chapter,

Nice start. The quote and main lead's comment on it, this sets the characterization at the very first paragraph.

Beautiful descriptions, great writing. So many stories embedded in one. Each and every story was written fabulously. I loved the ending too. All the stories had one thing in common, everyone hid something or the other within the closed doors of their house.

Grammar:

Fluctuating tenses: either past or present, choose one. Few sentences seemed weirdly formed, but they were still understandable.

A typo, commas(some missing and some extra), missing full stop.

During George's story- The guy every girls want...

It should be written as- The guy every girl wants.

Over all,

Great chapter. There wasn't a single moment where I felt my attention slipping. From start to end, the chapter was interesting. Beautifully written. There are some minor errors but that doesn't take away the interest. Awesome work!!

Thanks for choosing me and keep writing!!