Sunflower Reviews

Mila - The Promotion

Reviewer: Mila_333

Review: The Promotion

Client: _xxAMxx

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Blurb

The blurb does contain typo, for instance you wrongly spelled the word crumbling. Please bear in mind that a person secondly reads the blurb after he reads the title. Hence, it is crucial to have a clean blurb, free from any grammatical mistakes as it does leave a bad impression and you wouldn't want that. As far as the content is concerned, I have to say that the blurb only fits the first part of the book, moreover only to some extent. I figured you were not sure if the story would be continued. Hence, a revision is required here. I suggest you add more detail on Alexander since he's the main male protagonist and not Calum.  On the bright side, the blurb can be quite enticing for readers who already love the CEO-PA combo.

Title

The title cannot be any more accurate and I love how it is unique and at the same time attractive enough to lure readers. Moreover, it also totally corresponds to the story which makes it even more perfect.

Cover

The cover is really amazing and very refreshing. It shows the chemistry, visually apparent and it is really attractive to lure readers, especially those who already love the CEO-PA romance. The font size, colour and style of the title are very well written. However, I would suggest creating a more professional Author name. The one in the current cover can definitely pass as a username on Wattpad but it doesn't really appear polished on the cover, especially when the cover exudes such high standard vibes.

Grammar

I have found some grammar issues throughout the book. For instance, there are improper sentence structures at some points. You should also make sure you watch out where you should apply present tense and where you should use past tense, do not mix up with these two. If you have decided to use past tense to narrate the book, stick to that only. Moreover, there was a lack of punctuation marks noted, for example commas were missing at some required places. These are the kind of grammar issues which can be revised and it can be eradicated by proofreading.

I can also advise you to copy paste your work in a Microsoft Word document and you will be able to revise your mistakes easily. I will not classify this issue as one that will prevent me from continuing my reading, so I believe you can definitely polish the work easily.

Writing Style

The writing style was quite good and precise.  It is simple and easy to read. I did feel the writing style turning heavy at some point when darker scenes were happening and it eventually turned lighter when you narrated simple happenings. Most importantly, you were able to provide a voice to the story and the proper emotions were conveyed which is what actually matters. However, I still feel like you could enhance the writing style to a higher level to make readers fall in love with your writing. You definitely have the potential and you can definitely start working on this aspect as soon as you're done with the correction of the grammatical mistakes. I suggest extensive reading, research and practice.

Plot

I will most likely write my review separately, focusing on the two parts of the book.

First of all, I have to say that I enjoyed the second part of the book so much more than the first part. I'm glad I kept reading, hence I will recommend you to remove the section where you stated that the book first ended here and then you decided to make a second part, because I'm sure many people will not stick around. The first part of the book was actually a bit too concentrated on the female protagonist not wanting to leave her boyfriend.  I can understand that this element is very much needed for the development of the plot but what you could have done is that you could have made the beginning chapters a bit longer, maybe combine two chapters into one because I noticed that the first chapters were actually really short which left the book with so many chapters.