Sunflower Reviews

Lizona - Love Rec-tangled

Reviewer: Lizona (persephoinis )

Review: Love Rec-tangled

Client: SnowWhite1309

🌻

Cover

The cover was not much appropriate for the romance novel and definitely not eye-grabbing. Hence, I highly recommend changing it into something more romantic or at least figure-based. And also judging from the theme of your story, I think even a vector-based cover would look good.

If you want to make your covers then you can download fonts from Devian art, DaFont.com, etc. And if you think that you are incapable of making one, or simply don't have the time, then you can just order one from the various graphic shops in Wattpad.

Title

The title of your story was really intriguing and attention-grabbing because this kind of title is generally not common. Also, we're mainly accustomed to the idea of love triangles but this one is 'rectangle' and I believe that it depicts the love story surrounding Lexi Wolf, Noah, Jax, and obviously Ivy.

Blurb

We all know that the blurb is the hook to a book. Of course, the cover is the one that lures the readers in, but the blurb is like an entryway to the world you've created. So it is a vital element that will decide the fate and popularity of your story.

Now talking about the blurb of your story, I really liked the snippet of the scene that you provided in the end. It was really cute and also managed to provide a minimalistic sketch of their characters - which was very skillful. However, I do think that it lacked the basic outline of the story.

This is how you started:

You all must have seen movies and read books about love triangles. But this is not a triangle, It's a rectangle.

Lexi Wolf, Queen Bee of Pinewood High, stuck in a twisted rectangle of love.

Now, I think the first two lines are absolutely okay (in fact a completely intriguing opening line), although, I preferred if you would have carried on writing it that way, instead of continuing:

Wanna know how?

Read the love story of Lexi and her friends. Full of twists, confusions, humor, silliness, pretend, jealousy, and heartbreaks.

Now, this thing makes the blurb a little blunt and causes an abrupt disruption to the flow. I think introducing the storyline briefly and then hooking in the conflict would have been a great start. It would also make the blurb intriguing and give the readers an idea as to what to expect.

Plot & pacing

I actually loved the plot. I think that even though there was a brush of familiarity in it, it was refreshing in a different way. But most importantly, I loved the humorous and realistic aspect of the story. There were moments when I was shaking my head at the incidents that were occurring there, while at other times, I was grinning or laughing.

Also, I think that the pacing is perfect. I loved the quirky progression of the tale of the friends and honestly, wherever there is a teen drama, I'm in! The thing that I loved the most about your book was the constant string of events that kept me hooked throughout the reading.

Character development & Setting

Setting and world-building of any story is a very important aspect of the book. Without a strong and up-holding world, the readers cannot dive into your book and have the story revolving around themselves.

And now talking about your setting and world-building – there wasn't really much there. As much as I found a few details littered throughout the story, I couldn't really relate to them or found them vivid enough. Hence, I think you should pay really close attention to the surroundings of your characters and for this – visualizing the scene actually works wonders!

Now, about the characters, I really have little to say because I think the character development was done adeptly.

Lexi Wolf Queen, our protagonist, is an absolute badass, boss-bitch and I stan her for it. She's exactly the type of female protagonists that should be written in every YA book. I loved the way she knew exactly what she wanted and how to get that. She was the kind of person who was the best with the people she loves and the worst with people who rubbed her in the wrong way. Apart from this, her weakness for Noah was adorable and I totally shipped it!

The dynamics between each character were also very well-defined, distinguishable, and much realistic.

However, I do recommend imploring the depths of the characters. You can do this by adding minor details to your characters (like the wallpaper of the phone, any ornamental emotion, etc.) or giving detailed emotional scenes. This not only makes your characters much more relatable but would also give them a 3D effect and hence would reach out to your readers faster and more effectively.

Writing Style & Grammar

There were loads of grammatical errors, misspelled words, and wrong sentence construction. There were also multiple instances of tense errors. For example:

"Did he just brought a date?"

This sentence is grammatically incorrect and instead, it would be:

"Did he just bring a date?"

We can never write the main verb in the present tense when it is following the helping verb in the past tense. For more details and explanation, you can check out this link:

And now, talking about your writing style, I think it was okay-ish. There wasn't anything technically wrong with your narration, however, I think that you didn't play with the words. The whole point of writing is to have your own unique voice and to have the ability to string words into beautiful meanings and scenarios.

Also, as I said earlier that there was a lack of vividness in your writing. Sometimes it felt a little dull and almost as if you were telling us, instead of showing. Although, it wasn't something hugely eye-catching (I noticed because I was critiquing the work) and could be easily fixed with editing.

And hence, I would recommend you to try and incorporate a little bit of eloquence and 'SHOW NOT TELL' in your writing style.

Personal Enjoyment

I really enjoyed the plot despite its shortcomings and I do think that when polished, it will turn out to be amazing. And although there were a few bumps here and there, it was still a very entertaining ride.

Hope I wasn't too harsh (and if I was, I'm sorry) and that you can benefit from this review. Good luck! You've got this!