seen it all before // 10th spam

seeing a whole new world

i barely slept the previous night. i'd spent the evening before it studying and then talking to my friend. i had to wake up very early. after waking up, i had a small, but good breakfast and hurried to my lecture. on my way home, i felt nauseous. this feeling has been coming and going for a few days now. it just appears and disappears. when i arrived home, i was starving. i made myself pasta. it was the first lunch i've ever genuinely made for myself. it wasn't nearly as salty as it should've been and thus tasted disgusting. even after that huge plate, i still felt like i was starving. and i still feel like that. it's been twelve hours since then and i still feel the same. i spent a part of the afternoon on my phone, watching videos and just doing whatever. then, i sat down to study. i studied for four full hours. it was both interesting and enjoyable. i felt proud of myself for studying. i opened my sketchbook at 10:40pm and started drawing two pieces. i put a lot of effort into them and they took two full hours to finish. and i still felt the pain in my stomach and the growing pain in my head. i still felt like i was starving. starving. just constantly starving. even though i've had proper meals every single day since i arrived here. it's almost 2:30am and i'm so proud of myself for both studying and drawing well that i'm on some kind of a high. but i'll go to sleep soon. it's the first weekend since college started and i won't have any sort of an alarm turned on. let's hope i get plently of sleep, that this pain stops and that this weird coldness that's currently wrapping itself around my feet will go away.