seen it all before // 10th spam

die and go

we went out yesterday. my first going out in a village. it was nice. at first, i was doing my best to sound and look happy. then, i was doing my best to push all my inner pain away with happiness. then, happiness truly took over and i felt good. and i noticed- i was happy because of bts. because i was thinking about them, mentioning them, dancing to their music playing in my head. and that feeling - the feeling of warmth and love - that's the important feeling. before this, i was considering deleting their songs off my phone, i was considering leaving them behind because i'd made myself believe that self-love was unnecessary and bad. but it's not. and they show me.

they've shown me i have reasons
i should love myself