seen it all before // 10th spam

obsession doesn't necessarily equal drugs

i've been continuously having nightmares and, even though i have a feeling i've already talked about this, i can't stop feeling the need to bring it up again.

they're just so different, yet so similar. they're not creepy as often as they're simply tragic. series of deaths, murders, fatal accidents and suicides. it's something that keeps waking me up, but reappearing when i close my eyes. it has made me cry numerous times. it has even appeared in the form of daydreams rather than nightmares. sometimes it's so real that i feel like i can see it before myself. there are time when this brain imagery ends well and i manage to save everyone (or someone else manages the same), but the outcome i usually face in these is indeed tragic. and i often find myself stuck and trying to find any kind of a solution for my nightmares in real life. yesterday, i dozed off for two whole hours just desperately trying to save someone from drowning in cold sea.

nightmares are sometimes that brings me to tears and makes me feel feelings the most in the past few weeks. these weeks where i've been blank much more than present. than alive. nightmares are where my feeling and my soul wakes up. this is why i felt the need to bring them up.