seen it all before // 10th spam

내 심장 아파

i feel like i shared something very personal and disturbing with two people and neither of them took it seriously. because i still continuously go through pain, anxiety and panic due to this 'thing'. i thought they'd hear me out and listen when i asked "could you please not bring it up all of a sudden?". because it hits me like a spear through my heart or stomach whenever it comes out of their mouths. because a coach is supposed to be supportive rather than triggering. because i think i didn't explain my situation properly and i think you still don't understand what i'm going through. because i still can't fully accept the fact this is something i'm going through. because i'm sorry.