seen it all before // 10th spam

i'm tired, not angry, but somebody should be.

i love watching horror movies. i look at them as art (as everyone should see them). of course, there are many bad movies within the genre, but that shouldn't dismiss all the beautiful and impressive ones. during these movies, i turn on my extremnely objective mode and i don't get scared. i used to get scared, but not anymore. however, after watching them, i have a painful fear in the back of my head and in my chest for weeks and weeks to come. what's even weirder is the fact i just feel pain; i don't feel afraid. my mind is completely fine and calm, but my body is in panic. it makes me run and shake while my voice is still stable. i feel like i've talked about this before, but it still weirds me out. because, in my mind, i'm 120% sure there's nothing to be afraid of, but my body seems to have feelings of its own and reactions of its own.