His Nanny At Service

Chapter 44

Aida's POV

I always liked people who were blunt and honest without giving a thought of fake courtesy. I consider them real and give them more respect over any other fake person in my life.

But today, right now, I am absolutely abhorring his brutal honesty. But what can I complain when I am the one who brought it upon myself. His words have imprinted a deep and painful cut in my heart.

"You can't?" I whispered sadly.

"No... I can, but I won't do that." He said and went ahead to walk till his home but I stopped him again.

"Please, let's talk. Privately." I said and pulled him dragged him inside my house. And he freely let me drag him.

"Can you please forgive me? I know it was not right but I had things running in my mi..." Before I could complete he glared at me.

"It was not my ego that you hurt. It's my self-respect! What you girls think that only you guys have that and we don't? Half of the time you girls see other well mannered boys as rapists or some man whore. Not all boys are like that but still every girl in this whole world once have misunderstood guys. But I don't blame them as they are judging strangers and that is pretty normal. But you have known me from what? Six years? Do you think I will ever be able forget what you said? And if I can't forget then how do you expect me to forgive you?" He said making even more culpable.

"You also know I didn't mean that. It's just some words took me back at that time and..."

"That is what your problem is! You link present from past, past from future and create a non-existent mess in your mind. And then you expect people to understand your emotions. Some words triggers your memories but Ms. Aida, what you said that day was totally out of line. I never tolerate people like you in my life who thinks that a sorry can get them away from any prison. No! It does not. Sorry is just like rituals after someone's death. You do it just to show to society that the dead person was important but these rituals cannot bring the person back. Exactly the same way sorry is a word that will never erase what's been said in the spur of moment. You are a psychologist after all and you can't handle your emotions. How do you expect me to that even if I forgive you, these kind of incidents will not happen again?" He said while tears pricked in my eyes after hearing the pain my words caused him. Here I felt that when you say something that you never meant to say you then you are totally in the fault. But, I am!

"Emi... For me this sorry means more than just a ritual. I just can't describe what level of pain and guilt I am feeling. But even more than that is that you and I will never be the same." I said while crying and bowed my hair in shame. That's the only thing I can do now after the mistakes I have made in my whole life.

Never fought back when my principal discouraged me.

Trusted a monster like a friend and lost whatever few family members I had. My sister got raped infront of me, shouted for help, died in front me but I was not able to do anything! This all happened because he was my friend. At that time looking like nerdy hippo, someone wanting to be your friend was big thing which I welcomed. And that was the biggest mistake of my life. And the justice which I and my family will get will never bring my family back.

And I lost one person who was interested in me and actually has the heart of gold, and I pushed him away.

Emi is correct! How much ever sorry I feel for my mistakes, though unintentional, the situation will never reverse back to how it was before.

I am meant to be alone because I deserve to be alone. I don't deserve person like him in my life when I will do something that is going to hurt everyone. I can't trust myself for my own happiness.

"You can go... I will never come to you to force you to forgive me. And for the last time ever, I apologize for whatever I said, or did. I never really meant all those words but still I couldn't stop them from my mouth." I said and ran to my room. I shut the door at looked at the ceiling lifelessly.

*****

Emiliano's POV

I looked at her retreating figure in daze. What happened to her suddenly?

Just few minutes ago she was asking for an apology. Literally begging for my forgiveness. And now she just sounded so tired, not physically but mentally.

Did I go overboard just to make my point? Will she really never come to seek an apology from now?

But I never meant that to happen. I just wanted her to stop unnecessary thinking and spacing out. She needs to stop blaming herself as she cannot change the past. But I think she started blaming herself even more than before.

Fuck! She is not going to comit suicide, Is she?

I ran upstairs and almost opened all the rooms' doors to find them empty. Finally, I got the room which is shut from inside.

Shit! No... No.

You are so stupid Emiliano! She has been through so much and you made her feel all the more guilty with your speech. Can't you just forgive her!

I pushed the door till it finally opened.

Rushing inside the room I saw her standing in the middle of the room lifelessly. This image of the ever so intelligent and sensible Dr. Aida broke my heart.

I went to her and turned her towards me... And kissed her.

******

Surprise!

The third kiss of the book! Who do you people think will reach their confession first?