Classroom of the Elite: Alter - Solace

Vol. 4.5: Chapter 11.2 - Slowly But Surely

"I'll make it up to you. I know you hate dealing with crowds."

Horikita and I were currently walking out of the building when I suddenly started the conversation.

"It's fine... Don't mind it," she sighed. "We're-- friends, aren't we?"

"I wonder what your old self would say if she hears you saying that?"

Horikita turned to glare at me.

"I'm not teasing you. It's a genuine question. You've changed a lot, you know?"

"I guess I have... But I could say the same to you, Ayanokouji-kun."

"Oh, care to elaborate? There's still some time before we reach Keyaki Mall."

It's around 10:30 in the morning. The fortune-telling stalls should've started their activities at 10 o'clock, so a lot of people might be there already. 

"It's not something that I can explain thoroughly. I just noticed that you're a bit more relaxed lately, though it doesn't really show on your face. At first, I thought you were great at socializing. Your speech was decent and your pieces of advice were practical. However, I started to realize that you were just trying your hardest to socialize-- a total loner, like I am." Horikita shrugged as if it was no big deal.

The only difference between us was our drive to change. I did my best to make friends, while Horikita couldn't even be bothered with the idea. At first, she only acknowledged my existence because I showcased my abilities. She wouldn't have given me the same amount of respect if I chose to hide my skills.

"Seems like I was found out. I didn't have any friends when I was a child, so it was really hard for me to fit in."

"We're the same. I just didn't bother faking my personality... unlike someone," she eyed me suspiciously.

"I'm not-- Well, I guess you could say that." 

Thinking like a normal high school boy, speaking like a normal high school boy, acting like a normal high school boy-- I tried my best to do all of that despite not knowing how. Though it's not like any of my attempts showed on the outside, given my appearance.

"But as you said, it's nothing too obvious," I continued.

"Of course, it wouldn't be obvious. Your doll-like veneer never changes. No one can see behind that expressionless face of yours."

That's the one thing I chose to not change. Even if I could do so, forcing myself to smile and look cheerful would be too exhausting.

"Well, you can." Horikita was able to see through my facade many times.

"You think I'm an idiot? I can only read you when you let me read you. I realized that after we made Ryuuen-kun sign that contract. You're unreadable if you want to be."

I couldn't say anything in response. She's just as sharp as her brother.

"Then again, saying you changed isn't that simple. You may be the person that I've interacted with the most in this school, but I still hardly know anything about you. I can't be confident in what I say," she said.

"I see..." If Horikita can continue fixing her defect, she'd become a formidable leader like Ryuuen or Katsuragi. She doesn't need to know anything about my past just because she's trying to learn from me.

"What about me, then? From the way you phrased your words earlier, it seems like my "changes" were quite noticeable. Care to elaborate?" She returned the question to me.

"Well, yeah. Even our classmates could discern them." I looked ahead, slightly upwards, and recalled. "At first, you seemed like you didn't want anything to do with the class. You were extremely cold to everyone, even to me. All of our classmates thought you were looking down on them."