Chapter 53

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Tris POV
"So tris?" Christina says as I sit down and Tobias goes with Luca to get food. "What?" I ask. She sits diagonal from me, will to her left and Uriah on her right. Zeke sits next to me. "How's the baby??" She asks with a big grin. I chuckle lightly, "Good." I answer honestly.

I'm not really sure what else to say, the baby can't be very old and nothing feels different yet besides the fact that I throw up every morning. "Geez Four! You trying to get her fat??" Zeke exclaims as Tobias and Luca come back, he hands me a plate that towering with food. "Pregnant remember?" I say leaning over to whisper it into Zeke's ear since Luca's here.

I'm excited for the day we can tell Luca, to see his face and how he'll react. "Do you think he'll bring Al back?" I haven't been listening to any of the conversations but when I hear that I start to choke on my food. Tobias pats my back and gain my composure. "You okay?" Shauna asks. I nod. "But really, do you think he would?" They continue the conversation, Christina, will, and Uriah.

I stand up and walk out of the dinning hall, I walk back to the apartment and head to the bedroom. I know it was wrong to walk out but I couldn't stand being there while they talked about him and more importantly bringing him back. I sigh, close to tears, yet I find the power to hold them back. Al was a friend till he tried to kill me, even though it wasn't him, I didn't forgive him. That's why he killed himself, because of me. And I've never gotten over that.

"Tris?" I hear Tobias's voice from the front door. He walks into the bedroom with a concerned look on his face. "Luca's in his room. Now what's wrong?" He says. His voice is calm and filled with love and compassion. That's when I can't do it any more, I can't hold back the tears.

I let one fall and slide down my cheek, Tobias walks over and pulls me onto his lap. He wipes the tear and then kisses the spot that the tear once laid. "Is it because of Al?" He asks. I know he's trying to be careful since it's a bit of touchy subject. I nod. "Because of why they were talking about him or just everything?" He asks. "All of it I guess." I say.

I pull back so I can look him in the eyes when I speak to him. "I want him back I do, but I' the reason.. I'm afraid.. I." I can't put my words together nor can I get the sentence out. "I know. But Tris I've said before that it wasn't you, he made his own decision." Tobias says.

I just nod, I'm too tired to argue, especially with Tobias. "Okay now?" He asks wiping a couple more tears away. "Yeah." I say. "Good" He says and kisses my cheek. "I should go apologize." I say. "No its fine. I said it was hormones." He says smiling. I laugh and kiss him softly on the lips.

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