Resurgent~ Back again

Chapter 69

Tobias POV
"Beautiful flowers." I hear a voice I've known all my life, and for most of it feared. I'm at my mother's grave, after my dream last night I wanted to visit it again. Tris understands, since I do this so much already, and she said she wanted to have a day out with Luca. Which I thought was sweet.

I turn my head to see Marcus walking towards me. It's grey out, a wet muggy fog encasing the cemetery. "What are you doing here?" I ask, really upset that I have to see him again,Twice in one week.

"I thought about what you said, about not showing up. So I wanted to see her now." He explains and I scoff.

"You think you can just show up here, after the whole funeral, and everything's just fine now?!" I ask.

"Tob-" "No. You lost the privilege to call me that, after saying that name then beating me with a belt." I tell him. He looks around making sure no one's listening nor watching.

"Oh no one here." I tell him. "But if there were someone, they'd finally know the truth." I say. "You never loved me. And you never loved my mother." I say.

"You know that's not true." He tell me. "Do I? Do I know that??" I ask, my voice rising.

"I loved your mother." He said and now that she's gone, I can't stand hearing him talk of her.

"You didn't. But know that I think of it.. maybe you did. Because beating her, abusing her in ways I don't want to think about, and leaving scars on her that'll never go away.. well that shows some very deep love right." I yell at him.

He's silent, can't even look at me. "You know what, go ahead. Pay your respects, leave your pity flower, because I don't give a damn anymore." I say and start to walk away from him.

"I'm still your father Tobias." I hear Marcus shout and those words stop me in my tracks.

I turn on my heel to see him just standing, waiting for my forgiveness. "You're not. Never were, never will be." I say. "My father died when the boy in here.." I say pointing to my heart. "Died too.." I add and walk away, not looking back again.

It's true what I said. The first beating he ever gave me, that was the day I died inside and it took my father with it. I knew that day that I'd never have a father again.

****
I don't head straight home after my encounter with Marcus, instead I head to abnegation. I know it's not really like me to go there, much less visit my childhood home, but I do. I open the door to the house filled with silence. Everything is in the same exact place as it was two days ago, and even eighteen years ago.

I walk to the small living room we had, every abnegation household has a small gathering room. Nothing big or extravagant though.

The chair I'd always find my father sitting in when I came home from school, still sits there. The couch for any company that came over is there as well.

We never had much company, or at least I wasn't allowed to there when there was. I do remember my father going over to Tris's parents house once or twice, I always had to stay home. My mother would go with him, not willingly but because of force.

I walk into the kitchen, remembering the nights I would make dinners for my father. How the fear would be tingling through me as I chopped, the nervousness of messing something up circling through my veins.

I move on, trying to loose the feeling the memories bring. I head up the stairs, the rickety old stairs I'd climbed a thousand times as a child.

In some world, in some other faction, there might be picture frames filled with pictures lining the wall on the way to the upstairs. But not here, not this faction, and definitely not this family.