Resurgent~ Back again

Chapter 77

Tris POV
"You're up Ms. Prior." Jeanine says and I take a deep breath. I have to push everything else away, all clouding my mind with thoughts need to leave. I just need on this, careful to not give Jeanine any ammunition.

"Beatrice, another woman back from the dead." She says and I know she wants to compare me to her.. But she won't. I won't allow it.

"Do you ever wish you were still dead?" She asks. I could lie-being able to resist the serum. Or tell the truth-the truth within me.

"Sometimes." I say choosing the truthful path for this question. "Some days I'm thankful I'm here, that I'm here with Tobias again." I say, and picture his face. The tears the ran from his burning blue eyes the day I arrived to him.

"But then there's times I convince myself that it would be better if I were dead." I say.

"I'm sure you miss your mother." Jeanine asks, and this topic I have to be careful with- very careful.

"Yes. I do." "She died, some say for you, others say because of you." My hands turn to fists.

"What do you believe?" She asks. "Both. I have to live with the guilt, the pain. the image of her dying on that pavement." I say and my eyes sting with tears.

"You've killed so many." Jeanine says with a fake sigh. "Your mother, your father, Al- I believe is his name." She reads. With each name, I'm hit with a bullet- a bullet of guilt.

"Al chose to die." "Because of you." Jeanine says, and I can't fight it-it's true.

"Will. You shot your own friend." She says. "Stop!" I scream. the images of the blood, the death in their eyes.

"How could you forgive yourself?" She asks and tears fall from my eyes.

"She forgives herself. No matter how much she denies it.. she does. And forgive her. She doesn't need it but she had my forgiveness." I hear Tobias say and I cry more. I cry for his hold, I cry to see him.

"Mr. Eaton, your time is done. Please be quiet." Jeanine says and it's like she's addressing a kid.

"Beatrice, Mr. Eaton here was your instructor. Correct?" She asks changing topic. "Yes."

"And when did you discover your love for him?" Jeanine asks, and I don't need the truth serum to answer this one.

"After we kissed in the chasm. I knew I liked him- or had a interest in him before that. But that was also because I wanted to know more about him." I say.

"And you met Tobias's mother." "Yes." "What did you think of her?" Jeanine asks.

"She was a lovely person." "Truth! Truth please Ms. Prior." Jeanine yells.

"I thought that she was a controlling, manipulative bitch." I say and I cover my mouth once I do. Realizing that what I just said... Tobias heard.

Jeanine chuckles, "Being divergent. Do you enjoy it?" She asks. "Sometimes. But not most of the time, most of the time I just wish I was normal." I say.

"Me too. Well thank you both." She says and my eyes open again, to being strapped down in the chairs.

Guards come over and take us back to our dark cell, locking the door and leaving. Tobias paces back and forth, making me uneasy.

"Tobais-" "Controlling, manipulative bitch??" He yells, and I flinch at the anger in his voice.

"Tobias I'm sorry but-" "But what! How could you say that?? And how could you say that sometimes you wish you were dead!?" He yells at me more. I'm standing now.

"You said things too! That I'm too selfless!? That I'm stubborn and put myself in danger for no good reason!" I yell at him. he turns to look at me, and anger courses through face.

"You were abnegation, you should have some selfless qualities in you. You don't, and I do. I just do!" "Used to be, and I let them go Tris! I wanted to let go of my past, not carry it with me into everything I do in life!" He yells.

There's a silence before I speak up. "You never wanted Luca... Did you?" I ask, not even able to look him in the eyes.

"You don't get how hard it was. I find out I have a little brother, who my mother loved more. She gave him something I barely got from her. Her Love." Tobias says sitting on the cot in the corner.

"Then finding out she's dying and she wants us to look after him. How could I love him as my own knowing he had a life with her, a mother that loved him." He says.

"How could I, when all I saw in him was her!" He says and tears are trailing behind- almost being released.

"Tob-" "I didn't know how." He says, his voice cracking. I walk over to him, kneeling in front of him.

"I'm sorry. The things I said.. Weren't fair. " I tell him, he doesn't respond. Instead he takes my face in his hands and presses his lips to mine. At first I'm caught off guard, but seconds later I'm kissing back.

"Stop touching each other, come on." A guard barks and we separate, except for keeping hand entwined with each other's.

"Jeanine has something to show you." He says as we walk through the metal door, but aren't brought behind the testing part of the glass. "Thank you for coming." She says, her blue heels clicking towards us.

"I was thinking earlier. Why do all the simulations, why put you in the ones that register pain, grief, fear." She says and I don't understand.

"Wouldn't it be easier to just be aware, and here in the real world to experience them?? So I decided to have one be real, it'll be a nice change." She says and leads us to a small room to the right. And that's when we can begin to hear screams- child screams.

Jeanine opens the metal door and there, on a metal table- kicking and screaming for his life... Is Luca.