Elliot and Julia have a complicated relationship. Since they met in the seventh grade, the only heart-to-heart conversations they've had have been strictly over text. But they don't mind this lack of intimacy. If anything, they enjoy it.
Don't thi...
So here it goes. I'm just going to let you know now that I'm going to make this as short and quick as possible. I am only repeating this story because I have to, not because I want to. I don't want to do any of this. I want to forget it ever happened. But I can't so I'm going to explain what happened. But it's going to be short and quick, got it?
After Nora's death, I didn't know what to do. My wife of six years was taken from me and I was left to bury her and take care of our young daughter. I had to tell Ava that her mother had died, no one tells you how to do that. No one tells you how to do any of this. There are so many things that have to be done at a time like this, superficial things like deciding what to serve at the reception after the service and what photos would be best in the slideshow during the reception itself, and there's no guide for it. Not to mention that you're supposed to do all of this while actually grieving.
You learn during times like these that the grieving isn't the hard thing. Falling apart is easy. It's too easy actually. But then you have to find the actual time to fall apart without ruining what might remain of the rest of your life. To move on you have to fall apart and because of all the superficial things you won't have anything to move on to after you fall apart. I'm sure I'm not really making sense right now but that's how it is. It doesn't make sense.
For a while after the funeral everyone left me alone about how I fell apart. But after a few weeks of Julie and Casey taking turns picking Ava up from school, they put an end to it. They did this in the same way they had been doing things since Nora died: Casey took care of Ava and Julie took care of me. Before Julie "taking care of me" meant leaving ready-made dinners in the fridge, making sure all the lights were turned off every night and that the doors were locked, and comforting Ava when she cried. But in this situation, it meant yelling at me until I eventually agreed with her (because we all know I had no other choice).
She basically just reminded me that Ava was my responsibility and even though she and Casey loved her and would help out, I didn't get to just give up and leave her to us to raise. I tried to argue that she didn't know what I was going through but she just countered with the fact that she and Casey had their own crosses to bear. At the time, Casey was trying to get to the next level with Grace and Julie was never going to have her own family when she was busy taking care of mine. After all, Grace could only be patient about Casey running off to take care of a child he wasn't related to who had her own parents for so long, and Julie had the whole "biological clock" thing going on.
There was no way I could argue with Julie's biological clock so I agreed. Not to mention the fact that she was completely right before then. After our little "conversation" (if you can call it that), I was able to start making my transition into an actual human being again. It was a long process but I was glad to have started it.
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"So what do I do now?"
"What do you mean, what do you do now?"
"To not fall apart. To..."
"Move on?"
"Yeah, I guess that's what I mean. I don't know what to do next."
"What makes you think that I would know?"
"Because you were the one telling me what to do so I figured you'd know what my next step should be."
"Eli, I never know what I'm talking about when I tell you what to do."
"Wow."
"Sorry."
"I feel like my whole life has been a lie."
"Come on, you knew that was true."
"Yeah, I get that."
"All kidding aside, I promise that I'll help you figure out the next step. Okay?"
