Elliot and Julia have a complicated relationship. Since they met in the seventh grade, the only heart-to-heart conversations they've had have been strictly over text. But they don't mind this lack of intimacy. If anything, they enjoy it.
Don't thi...
There comes a time in every parent's life where your kid scares the hell out of you. Actually, there are a lot of times when kids scare the hell out of their parents. But everything must have a first time and the first time my kid scared me was one night when Ava woke up with a fever. A fever that kept climbing and climbing and made the whole neighborhood wake up from her crying.
Nora and I did everything we could, meaning I tried to use everything medical school had taught me about fevers and babies, but the fever wouldn't go down and she wouldn't stop crying. Eventually we decided that there was no way we could justify staying in our house any longer, we had to get her to the Emergency Room.
It took a few hours but thankfully the doctors were able to get her fever to go down. And once it did, I promptly felt like an idiot because I felt like I should have done a better job. I was a doctor and I should have been able to handle a fever. But I guess that's why doctors aren't allowed to treat their loved ones, we have horrible perspective.
One did thing did come of that experience, though. After I had sent Nora to bed and volunteered to make sure Ava got to sleep, I got to thinking about what Julie had said the last time we had seen each other. For a while after that day it was all I could think about, I replayed it over and over in my head, but it had been a long time since I had thought about that particular memory.
She had told me that the entire time we were friends that I only cared about myself, that even when I thought I cared about other people my top priority was still myself. That I wasn't capable of caring about other people in the way that I needed to. When I was like that I couldn't have a healthy relationship with anyone, let alone her. And I realized that she was right. I hadn't meant to hurt her or anyone else, but I had and I had to accept that. I had to accept that I had been selfish and not looked out for the people I should have.
But I had come a long way from that selfish kid. Julie leaving had had the result she wanted, we were figuring out who we were without each other. I learned later of all the wonderful things she did and I experienced so much during that time apart. I had gotten married and had a kid, for Christ's sake. The old me never would have even considered doing that. He would have messed everything up with Nora and never would have come close to having a kid. Now Nora and Ava were the most important people in my life. Julie leaving had been a wake up call and I had been smart enough not to ignore it. I just wasn't that person anymore.
And it was great.
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"Shh, Ava, it's all okay now."
"..."
"You gave us a little scare there, sweet pea. A big scare, actually."
"..."
"I'd ask you to never do that again but who are we kidding?"
"..."
"Maybe you could just promise to not get pregnant."
"..."
"Or do drugs. That would be good too."
"..."
"Shh, it's time to go to sleep."
"..."
"Your mom and I love you so much, Ava. So so much."
"..."
"And we will always love you. No matter what you do."
"..."
"Yes, close your eyes. Close your eyes so daddy can go to sleep."
"..."
"Sleep tight, Ava."
~~~
If you guys missed the Teen Fiction livestream that I did, here's the link:
http://youtu.be/hy-gBT5XUv8
P.S. Today is the 1st anniversary of me making this account! I feel like I should celebrate, anyone have any ideas? A little thank you thing will be going up in Below the Surface later today but I'll try to come up with something else too.
