Just the Highlights

Julie: Grown Up/Just the Highlights (166)

 At this point in my life a surprising thing happened: I actually knew what I was doing with my life. I had a steady job, an apartment, some close friends, and everything was perfect. Okay it wasn't exactly perfect, but it was pretty damn close. At some point, I can't remember exactly when, I became a grown up. This change happened to everyone (at least, almost everyone) and I was shocked to discover that it had happened to me.

For such a long time Eli had known what he was doing and I was just the kid following him around who was trying to figure everything else out. But stepping away from him, and, as a result, his shadow, helped me stand on my own two feet and I was benefitting from it. I was sure that Eli knew what he was doing too and I hoped I was right. Even though I didn't always approve of the things he did, I always hoped that he was happy and that he knew where he was going. No matter what he did I would always hope that for him.

 "How was your date?"

"It was surprisingly great. He was really sweet. And so cute..."

"Wow, someone made an impression."

"He really did."

"What was his name again?"

"Mateo."

"Wait, what was his last name?"

"------, why?"

"Oh. I thought it was someone I knew for a second. But that's stupid, I'm sure he still lives across the country."

"Intrigue. Who was he?"

"No one special."

"Liar. Come on, tell me."

"Fine. He was my boyfriend."

"Your first love?"

"No, it wasn't like that. We were more friends than anything else."

"Oh one of those sweet friendship relationships."

"Mhmm."

"Did you sleep with him?"

"No! He was my first boyfriend, not my first."

"Then who was? Everyone has had a turn telling the others about their first time but you. What was so horrible about it?"

"Nothing."

"Why don't you talk about it, then? It can't be that embarrassing, everyone's story about their first time is embarrassing."

"Fine. It was with that asshole guy. When we were in college."

"Ah, the mysterious Eli that I see from time to time in old pictures."

"Yeah."

"Was he good at least?"

"What kind of question is that?"

"Well you may not want to talk about him now but was he at least good so your first experience isn't completely tarnished?"

"Yes, he was good. As you can assume he had lots of practice."

"It's better than him being bad."

"You're insane, you know that?"

"I try to be. So you weren't as attracted to Mateo as you were to Eli?"

"Do we have to keep talking about this?"

"Just answer the question."

"I guess. Eli was... Eli. Everyone was attracted to him. He was just one of those people."

"Interesting... Well I will say one thing."

"What?"

"My Mateo and I are way more attracted to each other than you and your Mateo were."

"I don't even want to know what that means."

"How do you think your Eli is doing now?"

"He's not my anything."

"Fine. How do you think the man-who-shall-not-be-named doing now?"

"I'm sure he's doing just fine. I'm sure he found a way to get his professor to forgive him and he got a spot as a resident at a wonderful university. I'm sure he has lots of girls wanting to date him and I'm sure he's very happy being self absorbed. I'm sure he's doing just fine, he's just one of those people."

"Don't you think it's a little harsh to assume that he only cares about himself?"

"Maybe. But after all this time that's all I can think about."

"Do you think he could change?"

"I don't know. I don't think people can change very much. Maybe they can change a little, grow up a bit, but I'm not sure if that will be enough."

"And you wouldn't wait to see if that would happen?"

"I spent so many years dealing with that boy and I only enabled him. If he's doing to change, it's not going to be because of me."

"Well I hope he figured stuff out, for his sake."

"You don't even know him."

"Do I have to know someone to wish them well?"

"I guess not."