Elliot and Julia have a complicated relationship. Since they met in the seventh grade, the only heart-to-heart conversations they've had have been strictly over text. But they don't mind this lack of intimacy. If anything, they enjoy it.
Don't thi...
Somehow, the night of Julie's birthday party, I ended up with drunk girl duty. Now usually no one would ever give this job to me, I was always too drunk or horny to be trusted with hysterical girls, but I guess people assumed since it was Julie and Julie and I would never hook up, I was trustworthy.
Not that I shouldn't have been trusted, I knew the difference between right and wrong. But it was just funny to me, how everyone assumed that I had no feelings toward her whatsoever. Where was her boyfriend during all of this? Huh? Where was the magical Jeremy? Well Jeremy had to rush home, there was some emergency, I don't even remember what.
Jeremy wasn't a bad guy, he was actually very nice. I just didn't like how friendly he was with me. He was just so calm and collected and assumed that we were friends. Yes, I was friends with Julie and he was dating her, but that didn't mean that he and I were friends. Not even close.
Sure, I guess you can say I was jealous. Not necessarily of Jeremy and Julie's relationship, they seemed pretty happy, but I was upset at how normal people assumed I was. How domesticated. So just because I wasn't drinking myself to death anymore, I was boring? Not attractive to any girls around? Not charismatic? Desirable? I was barely in my twenties, for christ sakes. How could I already be so boring?
But I did as I was told, I made sure Julie got home safe. I got her in a cab, made sure that she wasn't going to puke, calmed her down when she was upset about leaving, and got her up to her apartment (where she had moved when the new year started) and in her bed, even though she had fallen asleep a block away from our destination. I was upset but I wasn't upset at her.
Julie wasn't too bad of a drunk as drunks go. She got a little hysterical but once she was asleep it wasn't hard for me to carry her up. She didn't even wake up. Too tired to go back to campus, I had a grant for campus housing and couldn't afford to rent an apartment, I stayed at her place and watched some TV. Luckily for me, Julie's roommate was still out and didn't return before I left in the morning.
Sitting there under that blue glow, I did think for a second that I had been domesticated. My life had gone all topsy turvy on me. And as much as it annoyed me, I couldn't figure out if that was a bad thing.
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"I'm topsy turvy."
"No, you're tipsy."
"Isn't that what I said?"
"Nope. Come on, Jules, just relax. You're almost home."
"But tonight was so much fun! It can't end yet."
"But it has too. You had a little too much fun today."
"Eli... Please?"
"No."
"You're no fun."
"I'm nothing but fun. But someone has to be the adult around here and since you're too drunk to be the adult, I have to step up. God knows you've done it plenty of times for me."
"You're funny. You're acting all, all, what's the word?"
"Sentimental?"
"No..."
"Kind?"
"Nah."
"Handsome?"
"Hah!"
"Then what?"
"Hmm... It starts with a 'p' I think."
"Perplexed?"
"Stop guessing! Give me a second..."
"All right."
"I've got it! You're acting all pathetic."
"Gee thanks, you're too kind."
"I know, I'm awesome, but Eli I have a boyfriend. You can stop hitting on me now."
"What?"
"I know I'm amazing and everything but I like Jeremy. I only have time for one boy toy. Sorry."
"All right. I'll do my best to control myself."
"Stop laughing at me! I'm serious."
"I know, I know. I'm just laughing at my bad luck, Jeremy is a lucky guy."
"And I'm a lucky girl."
"How so?"
"I have Jeremy and I have you, even though you don't know how to control yourself."
"I guess that's true."
"It's true. I'm always right."
"I suppose so. Now out of the car, little one, we're at your place."
"And I really have to go to sleep? Really?"
"Really. Come on."
"Okay, I'll go. But I won't sleep."
"All right, sweet pea. Come on."
"..."
"Julie?"
"I think she fell asleep, sir."
"I guess she did. How much was the ride?"
"$22.50."
"Here. Thanks for the ride."
"Is the lady okay?"
"Yeah she's fine. Just a little too much to drink. I'll just carry her up."
