I couldn't shake the feeling in my chest of dread and fear. I had been so strong the past four years but right now I was falling apart.
I felt insane.
"Hey.." Sam said as he popped his head into the room. "Hi." I whispered as he came to sit next to me. "You look down." He said as I nodded. "Is it obvious?" I asked as he chuckled.
"Colby might have tipped me off a little bit." He said with a sigh. "Wanna talk about it?" He asked as I shook my head.
"I don't know what to say." I said and started picking at my nails. "This is a lot to take in, but now that you're here we're gonna keep you safe." He said as I frowned.
"You can't. They're gonna do what they want and get around you guys. They always do." I said as he sighed. "They have in the past, yes." He said with a nod.
"However, we will try our very best to protect you." He said as I nodded. "Yeah, thanks." I said then sniffled.
"I should be thanking you." He said causing me to scrunch my brow. "What? Why?" I asked with confusion.
"I haven't seen Colby be this way in a very long time. He hasn't put the hard persona on at all." Sam said as I shrugged. "I don't control him." I said as he nodded.
"I know, but you make him better. Whether you're trying to or not, you make him a better person." He said causing me to sigh.
"He admitted to loving me." I said quietly. "Really?" He asked with shock. "Yeah." I said as he nodded. "No wondered you're a little fucked up." He said with a sigh.
"I can't keep doing this, Sam. I can't keep being dragged along when its convenient for him. I can't keep having someone hunting me because of him." I said, my eyes watering.
"I know it's hard." He said then wrapped his arms around me.
"It feels like he didn't want you for a long time but the truth is he never wanted to leave you. Not even a little bit. He thought it would be what was best for you." He said as I cried into his chest.
"I don't know the whole situation but people weren't after you for a long time and he liked that. He liked that you were out of the crime world, not his world though." Sam explained.
"Before the whole Quill thing happened...he talked to me about running away with you." He said and scratched my back.
"He wanted to leave the crime world and take you and the kids somewhere. Then when Quill was killed...he changed his mind. He knew that his name was too big and that there would never be safety for you." He explained.
"That's why he forced himself to leave you. It was only to protect you." He said as I shook my head.
"It didn't work." I mumbled. "It did for a while. He just forgot that your name is just as big, if not bigger, than his." He said as I nodded.
"And that's my problem." I said and sat up straight. "I'll never be free again." I said as he sighed.
"I know it seems that way but if we do this right, then we can make it happen." He said as I shook my head.
"There's only one way to do it." I said as he clenched his jaw. "Don't do anything stupid, Jules. We care about you too much." He said as I nodded.
"I'm tired." I said as he sighed, standing up. "Get some sleep. I'm gonna make breakfast in the morning." He said then ruffled my hair.
It was cute how much Sam treated me like a younger sister. I never felt threatened by his presence and he just always wanted to help me.
I really loved him.
