"You can tell me" I look at Misaki who still seems waiting for me to talk.
"Its small thing. I don't even like the idea why this shit happen to me"
"There are not small things when you cry, you know. Its always something for us. Even maybe in another people eyes, its just small things" I sighed. I think maybe its not bad to tell her.
"You can keep secret?"
"At this school, you know. People like us doesn't have thing to made other people interested. We are minor" She is right. But yeah said thing like this, which I keep this secret until now. I am scared she will talk to other people and it will be laughing stock for others.
"I tell that to made you sure, I don't have intention to give your secret to another people"
"But in my ears, its like you belittle me"She bit her lips.
"But its fact. I mean, in a good way. Your secret safe cause no one even pay attention to us. So, even if maybe in the future I can't keep your secret, no one will listen to it"
"Why its made me more anxious to tell you?"I am grunted
"Haha, sorry. I just talk about fact, Maika. I can't lie. Seems its hard for you to open yourself, isn't it?"
"Is it bad thing?" She laughed, made me bit irritated.
"I envy you. You have many things now. Compare to the first year, you don't have anything. Its reversed with me. Maybe its good thing being like you" She give me little smile with sadness in it.
"How can you envy me? I don't have anything and I fail to get what I want. Cause I am minor"Both of us keep silent.
"Its about men" I tell her after thingking. I look at her who just open her eyes bigger.
"Love thing? Not cause maybe your team bully you?" I give her sinister look.
"Okay, I am ready now. Tell me. Who?" I looks away when Misaki fix her position, ready to hear me.
"Let's just give him anonym" I look at her again who have bit regret expression in her face. But its just for some moment, she got back her enthusiasm again.
"So, how's its going? You crying, right? Its mean-"
"Not good"
"You are fighting? Since when both of you have relationships?"Hh. I give her sarcastic laughing . Relationship? We are not even close to that phase.
"Why are you laughing? I don't know what happen between you two. But fighting is normal thing happen for couple"Haha. I am laughing for a little time now. Misaki face just more more confused with my reaction.
"Are you okay? Its me or you who's weird here? Is it funny thing when you fighting with your boyfriend? Maybe you have weird taste with men, you know"
"Ah really? Maybe I am" And then I am laughing again. This is just hilarious. I mean who can crying like me if its not for a relationship? I am the weird one here.
"Hey, are you still here? We are not even in the topic now. You just busy laughing whenever I talk"I look at her after she tap me and gaze at me. Curious.
"You can ask me for advice, I already through many things in relationship, you know. I cry a lot too for our relationship in first month, but after that its just ordinary things. Let's call it ingredients in love relationship"
"Haha" She look at me, more and more confusing and annoyed at the same time.
"You made me confused, you know"
"Its not same case like you. That's why I am laughing. Cause I am feeling more idiot to know my self can cry like this when actually we are not lover"I keep silent after tell her that. And Misaki just freeze in her position, there are confusing look too in her face.
"Still in progress? But he hurt you? Its normal Maika, if you are feeling miserable for what he did"
"Haha"I laugh again and Misaki just back confusing again. I know she wanna comfort me to stop blame my self but my condition now, maybe deserve to made people laugh.
"Dong. You are wrong. Its not in that category too. Its me who have one side crush. Funny, right?" I look at her who just looked down after I said that. See, its deserved to be laughing stock. I am just pathetic. When I am ready to hear Misaki laugh, I got different reaction from her. She hug me. Made me surprised, cause I don't predict that move at all.
"Its must be hard" She look at me with watery eyes after hug me. Now, its her who just made me confused. You must be laughing, right?
"Its funny"
"Not, Maika. Its not funny at all. Why you need to think its normal for people laughing for your feelings?"Ah, why my eyes feel heavy?
"But its normal I am crying if we already in relationship. But we are not even in the progress too. In fact, its just me. He is not even look at me" Shit. Tears fall from my eyes. Ah, this is annoying.
"You suffer with that?"
"I am not" I am sobbing. My heart is hurt.
"How long you keep it until now?"
"Since first of second semester. More than half of year now. Don't you think, is it funny?" She smile a bit and shake her head.
"But yeah, maybe its just little feeling of me. I mean in our youth, its normal to feeling like this, right?"
"Yeah"
"Don't look at me with pity like that. I am not dead" Misaki laughing with my statement. Its just, I am irritated when she look at me with sorrow face. Its uncomfortable.
"How's you progress, then? You must trying to be close with him"
"Sure. But he just" I am stopped a bit before continue my word
"Not even shake with my effort"I sighed
"Why? Who's that bastard?" I surprised with her reaction again.
"Take it easy. Its not like I hope he can look at me. Once again, its just little event happen in my life" Why my heart hurt again?
"Seems not"She has serious look in her face.
"You know in my early days, many boys like me. I mean, before enter this school. I think about it now more when that absurd feeling come to me. I mean. Ugh, why I am crying?" I wipe my tears.
"You don't understand thing, Maika. You fallen for him. Its not light feeling like me. Its deep"
"Its not. Its just like what they said. Hmm, like little fever in your youth" I argue with her words. No, I dont have same opinion with her. After all, this is my feeling. I know it well.
"But your mess condition right now tell me different things, Maika. Just remember how many days since you know you have feeling for him, you crying blindly like now?" I bit my lips to held my tears, grind my teeth. Failed. Tears falling down again.
"I hate my self right now"
"Why?"
"Cause I am like stupid crying for things like this" Misaki wipe my tears with edge of her finger.
"Sometimes, we become stupid for love, Maika. Don't blame yourself too much. Fever in our youth, sometimes can made us sick for long time. I think that's what happen in your case"Misaki just look at me when I squat in my bed, crying while sobbing. I don't wanna to admit her word but I can't deny it at all.
YOU ARE READING
30 Year Old Lady Daily Life
RomanceMaika turn out 30 years old this year. Not special, she still same. Not had boyfriend since she was born, had small circle of friends, or maybe not? Plus she has not interesting character though. At the day of her birthday, she wake up with not spec...
