30 Year Old Lady Daily Life

Part 70

"I am already so lazy to go into the hall today. Can I skip it, Siri?"

"No"I let out a sigh when just two of us were in our room. It's afternoon and we're going to have a scout meeting today. I just feel scared to show my new self. I can't help but feel like this. For now, I think the best way to feel calm is to avoid people. But it seems, I can't even do that.

"Don't worry. I am with you"Siri looks at me, but I am still unable to feel at ease.

"Maybe it's your natural way of personality. Always gets tense?"

"Dunno why, but I feel hate meeting a human even now. How can I am being like this? This place don't make me safe"I can hear Siri let out a sigh.

"Hey, be brave! You can't always be like your old self. You trick your brain too much. It's not good, you would always think that's the safest way to defend yourself. But later you will find it's hard to believe others"I get silent and then sigh again.

"Life is hard"

"Right"

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Our meeting ended now. Futaba and Yuichii in the hall too, including Fifi of course. Many times when we were still in meetings, I kept looking down or looking away from both of them. I feel my heart beats faster too. And for addition, Siri still talks with our teacher. This condition makes me alone. Usually, I would be okay with that. But now, I want everyone to get a distance with me. I don't even want to have a talk with them, especially Yuichii and Futaba.

"Hey!"

"WHOAAA!!!"

"Oh my God! What's wrong?"I opened my eyes wide when Futaba touched my shoulder and at the end screamed a little as gets surprised.

"W - why did you come here?"He seems surprised, but I look away from him. Damn, it's hard to look at people in the eyes. I don't know them and it's scared me. I don't like them making judgements with me. They're not like Siri or Suguru. By the way, why does Siri take so long to chat with our teacher? She breaking her promise again.

"I missed you and want to talk. It's not a thing that you need to be surprised about, right? It's normal I am always coming to you"I am gulped and look away again. Well, the problem is I am not like the person you knew before. I'm more fragile now.

"We - well. What's you want to talk about!"My tone gets higher as I feel nervous. I want him to go, leaving me alone.

"Nothing. Just wanted to tell you what happened to me"Ugh, somehow I feel his reason is not plausible. So, this is what happened between me and him? We talk about something unimportant. I take a glance at Siri, that girl!! Until when does she want to leave me like this?

"Ah, really?"I sighed. Don't know what to say to let our talk continue. This is awkward. What the hell until now we talk about? I'm confused.

"You're sick?"I look at Futaba for a moment. See? Not everyone can accept me. He looks at me with worry? Or maybe he feels I'm weird?

"No. I am okay"I hug my other arm. It's feels so awkward. But I feel don't want to satisfy anyone. I know I am fragile and lame, but if I still have one or two who can accept me, I think it's okay.

"You're weird. Different than usual"See? I look away while pouted a bit. I can't even feel sad. I know before he and me talked a lot. But the worse thing for me, I can't feel connection with him at all. I am such a cold hearted. Well, if I remember again I am always have this trait before entering this school. At least, I heard people say that.

"Nah, maybe. So, you don't have business with me now"

"Cold"I blinked but still felt calm about it. Futaba doesn't wrong. He knew another person before. It's me who tries to be friends with everyone.

"Whatever"I sat down on the floor and he followed me too. Why is he being like this? Didn't he say I'm a cold person?

"Excuse me, you can have your time everywhere. Don't mind my presence"He just stared at me without moving from his position.

"Uwaaah, you changed. What's got into you? I am Futaba, you don't recognize me after I am back from matches?"This guy! His tone seems like playing with me. Whatever, I don't care though.

"I am changed, right? You don't have things to do with me then"

"Why? You've changed, so what's with that? You chase me away now? This is your tactic because you asked me to leave you before? Well, sorry for that. But it's not working for me"What the! It's not like that!

"I am not like my old self, so what's your reason to stay on my side?!"I am almost shout at him. I can't help but feel annoyed. I don't like explaining my self. I don't want to make him understands me too.

"What? You have transformation? Interesting! What's next? You will become a butterfly?"This guy!! I glared at him.

"Woah, scary!!"

"You playing with me?!"He sighed as my tone got higher again.

"No, Maika. I know there are things different from you. But why do I need to leave you because of that? You never beg me to stay before. So, I stay with you as I want it. Why I need to leave after you're changed?"Nah, you're the weird one here.

"Well, I am changed like you said"He got silent after that.

"Still, it's not making me want to leave you. You think you're not worthy if you change? Congratulations, I still want to accept you whatever you are"My eyes got widened.

"Why?"I can feel my voice get lower than before.

"Hmm, no particular reason. I don't think it's a bad thing in the first place. Want to share story about it?"Ugh, that's mean I need to tell the embarrassing story again.

"No, I feel don't want it"

"Okay"Just like that? Why are people around me so weird like this? But...

"Thank you, Futaba"Both of us got silent after that. Me myself, feels its cringe.

"You don't add senior before my name too. It's pleasant to hear it"That's not the point here!!