30 Year Old Lady Daily Life

Part 23

"65 degree"I write on for what Hirata said. This is our last third point. It's nearly over now and he said he wanna take over for the last coordinate. My reaction? Just like usual. I am feeling numb. Not happy, not annoyed too. I even surprised with how fast my mood change. For now, I just wanna have my peace with being quiet and finish this task faster, cause to be honest I am tired and miss my bed now.

"Hows our data, Maika?"I turn my head to Hirata voice. He is talking. Usually, I will feeling excited but now it's like I wanna crying. Haah, my mood really something strange in the world.

"Hmm, good"

"Good like what? Be clear"I look at him with annoyed feeling. I am usually answer that type of question with same answer but why he give me more question for same question like before?

"Like usual"I answer heartlessly. I am not in the mood and I don't wanna have more conversation with him.

"Usual? It's have more gap or not?"He smiling when asking it. Fuck. I close my eyes, annoyed. What does he want?

"Just walk in the front now. I will evaluate it again while walking behind you"

"What's wrong?"It's Suguru who came to us now. Maybe cause we still not moving until finish measurement task.

"Nothing. We are okay"I don't have desire to look at Hirata face now when he said it. So, I just focus on number written in the paper, calculate it, so it's doesn't have anomaly.

"Seems its not. Let's continue our task"I walk away from Hirata who always walk beside me when I evaluate the paper. So, when I did that, he run a little to adjust his position.

"You can walk in front of me. You need to maintain the tools, right?"He seems surprised cause I realize he trying to adjust his step with me.

"What's my sin?"

"Hah?"We still walking side by side. He talk without look at my face.

"You changed. Since yesterday. Last night, you are not attend our meeting, today your mood just made me"He turn his body to me. Give me sharp gaze. Demand explanation. And I am not in the mood to answer all of his question. In short, I am actually avoiding him.

"Scared"He stopped, same with me.  I look away when he look at me again. Ugh, I am tired already.

"You don't have to be scared with me. I am not a monster. And my mood bad or not, it's not effect our work. Or it's disturb you? If that the case, then just look away from me. It's easy, right?"He sighed with my annoyed tone.

"I think I am right. I am doing wrong things to you, right?"Please, stop asking me. I scream that in my brain.

"Nothing, Hirata. By the way, even it's yes or not, it's not important right?"I walked through him. Can we just continue our work?

"I am worried about you. More than you think"I stopped. Look at him in daze. How dare him talk like that? I sighed many times, expelling my sudden anger.

"It's good if you stop talk like that"

"Why? It's true I worried about you"He talk back to me while walking. For resume we have conversation while walking. I walk to avoid him and he walk to chase more explanation and have more chat with me. And it's made me dizzy and wanna vomit.

"Stop talking like that!"

"Why?"

"It's unpleasant to hear it"

"Hey, what's wrong with both of you? It's like you shout to each other"Suguru stop and look at us.

"We are okay. Just walking. We need to arrive at our location"

"Okay. Don't fight!"Suguru walking in front of us again after Hirata calm the situation.

"I am hurting you?"

"Not. You still wanna ask? We need to finish our task!"I shout at him. I am nearly in my patient line now. I am trying hard to avoid him, why on earth happen with him?

"But your attitude changed drastically. I don't understand. If I did you wrong, I am sorry"

"Why? You don't need to say sorry for me. It's not your fault"I think I said that with sorrow feeling. I can feel my tears in my eyes now. Oh, please. Don't cry in front of him. I pray that to my self. But I still acting wipe my eyes to forbid tears fallen.

"You cry?"

"Not. Just a dust"I walking fast again in front of him. But seems it's a wrong choice.

"Can you tell me specifically? I mean sometimes I am numb with my attitude"

"You are not wrong. You don't have to apologize"That's my fault, cause fallen for him. Hear how he wanna apologize just made my heart sink.

"But-"

"Stop!"I cut off his word. I don't wanna hear 'sorry' word again from his mouth.

"Then you need to answer me. Why you have bad mood today? We just okay yesterday, right?"Ah, I need to think a smart answer to stop his question again and again.

"Maybe I will get my period. That's why"I am lied

"Oh, like that. You must tell us"Hh, finally.

"Hey, how about a photo?"Suguru come out from nowhere and cut off our convo. Usually, I will hate his presence when I still have deep talk with Hirata, but this moment I am really thankful for his useless effort now.

"Let's take it"I walk to Suguru. Ready to become their photographer. And after they manage their position, I take photo with Suguru handphone.

"Done"

"Maika, lets take one. Just you and me"I freeze beside Suguru when Hirata said it. What the hell?

"Said no, if you don't wanna"Suguru whisper to me and when I look at him, he just acting busy with Hirata phone. I can just said no, but~~

"Let's take one. You can post it on Facebook, right? I can take it from there"That time I don't have phone with camera, so if I wanna have some photo, I need to download it from their social account. Of course if they post it.

And then I walk to Hirata side, stand like a statue beside him. I wear a hoodie with hat in it, so I put that hat hoodie in my head and just stand beside him. With plain face, not even smiling. I don't even check his facial expression, but I bet he must made an annoyed face. I don't care, let's just other people take our photograph. So, at least I have it as memory. I think I am enough for this feeling. I am tired have it hidden and need to have crush on him. That's what I hope when we take a photo. This is my goodbye, Hirata. But seems it's not that easy. This pure feeling I had for the first time in my life, like what Misaki said. This fever remain with me for the long time.