30 Year Old Lady Daily Life

Part 37

I walk back to the hall alone, Suguru meet with his friend at the door and chatting there. I take deep breathe because of that. It's mean, I don't have to be asked about why we come together. 

"Suguru still not come. You know where he is, Maika?"Matilda asked me with eyes full with hope.

"I think in the terrace of this hall. I see him chatting there. Maybe give lesson to another group"Hirata glance at me when answer it.

"He teach?"Lin asked and I just nodded.

"Hirata, can we go there and asked him? We need to learn many things for this subject exam. I still not have many clue about the tools"

"Yeah, you can. I can stay here with Maika to input data"Hirata talking while still looked down. I glance to Matilda side which already pack her book and pen. She seems annoyed. I think she wanna have lesson just with Suguru and her, but Lin and Liam tagged along with her. Somehow I can understand it.

So, these three leaving this place. Our team gather in the corner of the back of the building. And just some people stay on the hall now. Maybe some of them having chat like which Suguru did. I see Sakura team and she just a women there. Seems Fifi had business outside too.

"You still wanna stand up or sit here?"Hirata made me stop look around and focus on him which still busy with computer. I sit beside him and hold my paper.

"Still need many data?"

"Actually not. I think only one paper left now. That one"I take the paper he mentioned and start read it for him. It's need some minutes to finish it.

"78 degree. It's matched?"I move close to him, look at the computer and the point finally made a polygon. What's a relief!

"It's finished. Finally can rest!"I shut my eyes some minutes and sigh.

"I still wanna made note for our maps. Wait here"He talking while look at the computer again. I look around and my team still not back. Another team just have two or three people stay in the hall to process the data. I see some of them, which women rest on male back. Seems it's okay for me to do that too? It's okay if we are not couple. Because some of them did although not a couple too.

"Sakura left alone there"Hirata doesn't respond to me. I remember he nagging at me in the forest when I said Sakura name's before. I don't understand him. In other side, Suguru just too straightforward until I wanna back off and run from him. I look at my palm and it's tremble a bit. Seems I still shocked.

"Are you tremble?"We caught each other eyes. I am gulped. I can't said to him about what happen earlier.

"Yeah, I think because of my period. I get cramps"

"Still hurt?"

"A bit"He paused after that and looked at me with gentle gaze.

"I will massage your hand"My pupil shaking. What's wrong with him?

"Don't worry. I am okay"

"Come here"His tone softer than before. Made me can't help but did like he said. I sit close to him now and many people in the hall busy with their thing, or even sleeping. Seems I don't have to worry.

"You have a small hands"It's the first word he said when he held the half of my left hand.

"It's hurt?"I shake my head when he hold it from the back of my hands. It's like he hold it. I have a deep sigh, nervous attacked me. I look around again, and no one even look at us.

"Maybe like this?"He changes his hands position, to my palms. Slipping his finger beside mine, exclude ring finger and my pinkie, and then he locks it. After that, he massage area below my thumb. Its start to getting hurt.

"Woah, its hurt"His eyes sparkle when I say it.

"Really?"I nodded. I am still in nervous state now. And feels like my head spinning.

"It's stop trembling. Your hands"I see it when Hirata said it. He is right, I stop trembling. He is success to calm my self. Honestly, I am still shocked for what Suguru did to me. And when Hirata give me a simple touch  like now, it's made me calm. 

"Thank you. It's lessen the pain now"

"This is my first time give massages at another people hands. And it's period pain"

"Haha, you never did this before? To your aunt or friends?"

"I am alone in my family. Not have siblings. And I am not really close with my cousin. Of course with my auntie too"

"It's feeling fresh after you massage it"He massage it diligently. I see how he locks his finger and confused why he need to do this. That's doesn't need. But I think I remember that night when he touching me, I wanna he holds my hands and it's did happen tonight. But why it's feeling different? Like I am in despair and wanna give up now. But not because effected by Suguru action. It's nothing to do with him. I am just tired now.

Maybe like what I said this morning. I wanna give up. It's better if I left this feeling when I have the best memory. He touch me and holding my hands. Maybe I can lean on his back too? I glance to another friends who did it. Men and women. It's not problem.

"Hirata, can I borrow your back? To lean. Like that"I pointed out to another people in the hall with my chin when he look at my direction.

"Okay. I will keep massage your hands"I chuckle inside. Just do like you wants.

"Ah, I am tired~~"I position my back on his. And lean there while one of my hands massaged by him.

"You can rest"I stretch my thighs and foot. Woah, it's so fresh. After many days in the forest, finally one subject task ended. Maybe tomorrow we will separate for another subject task again. Somehow I feel relieved. Don't need to meet him. I can heal at that time.  He said rest but I wanna gave up. Its enough now. I am seriously tired and hate my self for being the one who likes him. It's need to end, so he can focus on Sakura from now on. Maybe we will in different class too. I must be lucky because I don't have to take a peek at him many times and feel ashamed after doing it.

"I am tired, Hirata"His massages stop for a moment but then he continues again.

"Just rest"My heart beating so fast. I think he know it well, we talking on another topic now. But it's still vague. I am tired always become the one who need to guess his action. Wonder about his intention. Even we on the same topic, our conclusion always different and I am feed up with this. I leaned sideways on him with my face on his shirt. I look carefully how he massage my hands while his finger locks mine.

I am happy but at the same time I think what's happen now just a dream. That's will be ended. I will wake up again with tears. And like I said, tears falling from my eyes. I bite my lips. And put my face on his back. I can feel his hand hold mine tightly than before. I reply that with hold his hand tightly too. This is the end. I buried my face in his shirt. Let my tears flow and wet his shirt.

"Thank you"My hand grip is being weaken. He didn't hold back when I took my hand off him. I wake up from my position and he suddenly turn around and look at my face. I look back at him and tears keep flowing from my eyes. I close my mouth, so no one hear my cries. I can see how he look at me with gentle gazes. It's made me freeze in my place when he gently wipe my tears with his finger.

Unfortunately, my tears flow even further. I am crying because of you. My tears wanna shout it to him. We looked at each other eyes and his index finger touch the area below my left eyes. When his hands tried to cupped my left cheek, I moved my head and look away from him. He stopped and checked on my expression. I sigh and wipe tears which left on my cheek and eyes.

"How's it going? Already finished?"Suguru's voice made me move away from him.

"Who will be keep our coordinate paper?"I look at Suguru which seems surprised. I look away from him and trying to wipe my tears again, just in case I still have it.

"I will keep it"

"So, I will back to my room. You can keep the board. It's our team tools"I take my handbook material on the floor, my pencil and my pen. I check on Hirata who seems frozen in his place and gaze on the air. I sigh and stand up. Run out from the hall. Not even talk with Suguru which seems wanna explanation.