30 Year Old Lady Daily Life

Part 71

"How is it?"I glanced at Siri when both of us finished scout meeting and walked to our dorm.

"What's that mean?"

"I saw you talking with senior Futaba last time"I said 'Ah' quietly and then silent for a moment.

"He's seems to accept me, like others. It's seems baffled me"I tilt my head, still not believing for what happened at the hall before. I thought Futaba would be surprised and then thought I was lame. Seems - not.

"See? Its just your worry. People accept you the way you are"I looked down while still walking side by side with Siri. Then why it's not happening from the first time I entered this school. I sighed.

"Life can be tough. I don't know anymore what should be done at this stage. I mean, I'm scared this wouldn't last long"I mean if I'm bad, I don't need to worry. But if I seem nice for them, what should I do to defend this?

"Why again?"

"Dunno. I feel like wanting to vomit right now. How to do in the future?"

"HAH?!"I can hear Siri almost shout at me. Well, my words sounds ambiguous.

"You just being yourselves. What is the difficult point of it?"Hmm. Well, it's difficult.

"I lack in maintain human relationships. I can almost see everyone get away from me in the future"

"Auh, you are in depressed mode again! Be grateful for what happened now. We can think about the future later"

"Yeah Yeah. I got it"I shut up as I don't want to get into bickering with Siri again. It's tired me down. But deep down, I feel unsafe. What should I do now? Gosh, before it's not this difficult!

"Forget that, how about Hirata? Already met him?"I gulped and sighed while looking down.

"I feel like running away from this school"

"Ck ck. Be courageous and objective. That's what I ask you to act if that time comes. Think about another man who proved always beside you. Fact that he's still 50 percent"I pouted. Well, maybe. This is got me headache.

"I would think carefully. I just hope I never meet him until we're graduate. After all, we're in a different class"That's really my hope. I am too chicken out to face him and acknowledge my feelings. If that's proven I still like him or not, I don't want to take a risk.

"Be careful with your words"I gave Siri a side-eye for what she said.

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Ah. I'm dying. I stand in front of Hirata now. We got to see each other's eyes too. We're at the library now and I hold my Math book. My eyes roam around, search for Suguru or Takagi, but they can't be found everywhere at every inch of this room. How to avoid him? My head feels blank.

Both of us still look at each other without one of us talking. I gulped and took chair which had two chairs space in between. I sit and drown myself in the book with hope he doesn't come to my side. But it's seems can't happen. I hear the sound of the chair getting dragged close to me.

"What are you doing?"I sighed when Hirata talked to me. Well, I feel a bit shivery now. What is this? Fear?

"I am studying. Please do the same"He's being quiet. Whatever. I open one paper of my book again, pretend to read.

"What is that?"Uh. I take a glance at him and he still does that to me. I let out a sigh. Somehow the way he stare at me brings some tension in myself. Can I take a hint, this is still my feeling? Or maybe I am only confused and unsure with this condition. Huft....

"It's like forever I meet you again. Just my guess, don't tell me, you avoided me?"Exactly right. I save that word for myself.

"I avoided you or not, it's not really a concern for you I think?"I can see he's taken aback by my response. He's seems flustered. I just wonder what attitude I showed him before? I don't remember it very well.

"It's concern me!"Hirata who shouted a bit now made people's attention come to us. And seems he wary of it too and be quiet, then bowed to others.

"You've changed or it's just my hunch?"No you're right. I just gulped and didn't voice it out.

"It's you who like me, didn't you?"I widened my eyes. It's taken my guard off. This is embarrassing. I can feel warmth on my face now.

"Why you said it like that?"I pouted while facing him. I can see he resisted and opened his eyes bigger for my reaction.

"Why your reaction like that?"My lips curved below. What does this man actually want?

"If you hate it, you don't need to talk about it first"I looked away and back to my book, while pouting. But Hirata rested his face on his hands now and watched me closely. It's making me feel weird.

"Excuse me"He startled when I turned at him and protested.

"What?"I grinds my teeth with some tremble feeling inside when he asked while opening his eyes bigger. We look at each other now and I don't know what's coming to me. What is this feeling?

"Don't look at me like that! And you won't have anything to do? This is library, the place when we usually study"

"I know it"He answered flatly. Made me a little furious. But to save energy, I prefer to keep quiet.

"Just mind your own business. Same with me"

"I do my business right now"I close my eyes for a moment while letting out a deep sigh.

"Study, that's what you need to do, right?"

"Really? Hey, what's wrong with you? You sure have changed"My forehead frowned. I can see him still paying attention to me.

"Maybe. You lost your interest, didn't you? It's better like this"I stand up. Although I said that, but why do I feel sorrow inside?

But my step stopped, Hirata grabbed my wrist, "Where are you going? Sit here"His tone a little high at the end, like commanding me. What is this situation? It's not like I am in romance manga now.

"Why do I need to follow your word?"His eyes get bigger, he seems surprised to me.

"Why?! Ok, what with this? I will shout if you go? Sound a good deal?"Ugh. Both of us were silent after that. I don't have any other option than sitting in my chair again.

"Good choice. Let's talk again"