Minsung waters

Chapter 51

                    Leeknow's pov

    
     I feel a pair of eyes on me, the same way i felt days ago when I in the park and couple of times months ago when I was at the theatre. I'm trying to moveon. Wait.. let me correct myself. No. I'm not even trying. It's just that I've decided I'll die with either Jisung beside me or nobody.

      Maybe I'm hallucinating because Ji always hated and started with his tedtalk at how smoking kills and how you go away from your loved ones in a matter of few years. The days he flirted with me saying that if i can actually be addicted to him why do I need cigarettes?

      I feel like blushing at the thought of him following me and hiding the moment I look at him. It was all my plan. The messaging part. So that I could get to know what goes on in his devilishly smart brain. And i know why the fuck he's being so distant for almost five months now.

      He left the day i punched off Taeyong so bad and came face to face to death as Jisung's dad questioned me. He left without a word. Explanation is a faraway thing i can expect but.. not even a word of goodbye.

      It seems it would be easier if he just told me to fuck out of his life. But he didn't say a thing. Took me for granted. Walked away like i was a peice of shit. Which i was.. no doubt. I undoubtedly crossed my line a million times. But only to find out the feelings he had for me. And he did.

      I got the idea that he still fucking loved me when he hugged me and carrased my soul the day i put my secret forward. I knew it that day that it's impossible to stay away from this person i once had my beginning of the days and ends too. The person i was so scared to abandon. But looks like that person abandoned me. I know all the things he mightve had to agree of his dad. I know everything. I kinda guessed everything in those sleepless nights i had. Turning into the mattress a hundred times. Crying into the hug of Chan hyung and asking God knows how many times that was i such a bad person to him. Was i at such a fault that i didn't get a chance to even hug him and tell him that i can improve the situation. Still i had a answer always waiting for my realisation that it was too fucking late...

      Jisung was long gone.

      Like a dream you love so much but which can never return to you even you cry for it. Pray for it. Kill for it...

      But he's making me question these thoughts of mine. Why is he following me when he needs to get me out of his fucking mind. Or maybe he doesn't want to..

       To all of them I've asked this they all be telling me to reach out to Jisung but apparently he's scared to death even at a gaze of me. But i need to. And this is the time. I turn around to meet the eyes of Han Jisung. The person i love. I repeat this and feel butterflies taking over my stomach.

       But he's nowhere to be seen. I run at the pace where I've overpowered my fear of making him scared. And overpowered every negative thought i had in a while. Cuz the only thing that will help me continue live is.. Ji

       In a distance i see Hyunjin in front of the changing room. And i just search for jisung with my face covered with mask or i might be killed right now. But Hyunjin started talking to felix then and i evesdropped. "looks like Taeyong still got his eyes on our qoukka" hyunjin said

       "Hmm. But the thing is he never talked about Taeyong to me. Or he didn't talk about any recent gossips nowadays." Lix said pouting.

     "Aww baby don't be jealous now" hyunjin said kissing his forehead.

      These cringe couples i swear.

      "Naah but I'm glad. he's sharing everything with Taeyong I'm sure.. that's why at one call he ran to Taeyong who called for a coffee date." felix replied as hyunjin nodded and i feel my heart shattering. He's with Taeyong now. They actually are together.