My Letters to God.

Letter 9

I don't even know what to think today. My mind keeps jumping but then again when does it not? Well it likes to think of different scenarios then it goes off by itself and some of the thoughts I wish I could cut out my brain and never speak of again. Once again I am sorry for not writing to you as much. I'm so sorry. Bubbles mom took us to eat tacos and it was pretty much my first time praying before eating in front of people I hardly hang out with besides bubbles. I don't know if bubbles being there helped out or if I'm being more courageous than I'm used to. Ileana made some joke that made me feel uncomfortable. She hasn't been doing that a lot. Making jokes about you in front of me. Not that much for which I am grateful. I saw this one girl shirt where at first I thought it was a woman and her reflection as a card and I thought it was cool but then I saw the devil and cannibal party on it and it wasn't cool anymore. I don't know...I know it's just a t-shirt and the girl probably isn't into that religion or religion in general and I don't want to judge because I'm not a saint either but I found it uncomfortable. Not my usual uncomfortable where I start panicking on the inside and stay away from the girl. Not at all. Just the "Ok then...I don't like that shirt anymore" type of uncomfortable. Is that bad? The medication so far is just a meh to me. I don't know what to think still. The first time it made me itchy (unless that was just me being paranoid) but this time it just didn't feel like it did anything. Is that weird Lord? Could the medicine just be placebos? Thank you for making the medicine not make me crazy. Thank you for waking me and my family and friends up today and giving us life through your son. Thank you for giving me people to lean on when I'm falling down. I pray that you do the same for bubbles and that she knows she's not alone and that she works up the courage to talk to her mom and break the cutting habit. I also pray that she figures out if she's gay or not. Personally I really do believe she's just curious and it's making her believe she's gay. I went through that (then again there's the yaoi and before that I just admire how other girls looked unlike me and that messed with my brain. So far I'm asexual. I don't like anyone in a romantic sense. Darryl is a crush and if that turns out to be more then ok.) I pray that you guide her through whatever troubles she's going through Lord. In Jesus name: Amen.

Candy.