My Letters to God.

Clinging to You.

Prayer night was too short God and to be honest I half didn't want to go today but I'm glad you pushed me too. Maybe it's the way that we're all together in one place lifting our hands to you even though I was self conscious of that or singing together to you as well. It felt...more than nice and good and great mixed in. It felt sort of like a home. Home is a nice place isn't it. I use it all the time when referring to the house I live in or where I am, my city but when it comes down to it...thinking of these "homes" don't bring tears to my eyes like when I'm in church. Is it possible to homesick when I never even been to the place before? I always been saying I want to go home to You God or that I can't wait to go home to You but I never been there before. Is it possible to miss Heaven when I never visited Heaven??? I know the end is coming Lord and it doesn't scare me like it use to...I find no fear in your return because I'm positive I will be going home to You. You will take me home Jesus...but until then a new battle starts. Voices trying to make me question you, question your existence Lord or if I am really saved. Distractions that pop up when I pray...Frustrating especially when my dreams get invaded...But then I have to question the voices and myself. Of course I'm saved and of course I believe in you. Why else would I be changing??? What's the point of changing my ways and crying at night for reasons I never looked into before??? Why read my bible if you didn't touch my life? Why did you save me then?? You...You are with me and in my heart Lord. There's nothing else powerful to move me so deeply I'm willing to struggle for? There's nothing else powerful enough to touch a ripped and detorted soul like mine. Clinging to you is the only hope and sanity I have. You have to be with me if the enemy is attacking so much like this? Oh God! Give me strength and victory over the enemy attacking me! Purify my heart and let my eyes continue to seek you out and keep to your truth! Help me not grow weary and cling to you my Lord! Jesus Help me! Help Help us who are struggling deep in our minds and hearts, banish the evil ones and our thoughts and feelings which are drenched in sin and ugliness! Let us look towards your coming not in fear but as a day to rejoice and cry out with joy that you came for us! You are going to take us home! Let me open my mouth and confess my sins to you my God in Heaven! May my heart be acceptable in your eyes and my mind be purified by your righteous hands. Convict me of my sins so that they are pointed out to me so I may rectify my wrongs and turn away from them for good. In Jesus name I also pray for FollowsJesus that you continue to use her as a strong weapon that writes for you Lord Jesus and that her body heals. Whatever pain is going through her that it will pass Lord and that she will be strong physically and spiritually and emotionally. I pray Lord, for you can do all things God, that she may be blessed beyond what she does for other people God. I pray she is happy no matter what the enemy throws at her and that she finds rest in you when her spirit is drained. In Your most Holiest name Lord God! Amen! Amen!

Candy.