My Letters to God.

Untitled Part 111

Father God,

It feels like forever since I wrote on here to You. What do I write about? I don't really want to write about my problems or the issues I'm going through. God, help me to be vulnerable. Help me to be open, Father because that is what I struggle with. But also God, help me to rejoice Lord in You and praise You because You are good and have gotten me through a lot, especially this year. God, today was just - it was a good day but on the inside, it feels like I'm trying not to get pulled by the voices of anxiety and depression. It's going better than last month but it's still so hard, Jesus. I was watching this Joyce Meyer video on youtube and God, it was very encouraging to me and it also made me happy knowing that some things I do or some ways I spend time with You is shared by her and others. God, it makes me happy to know that You are always with me and that I can share anything and everything with You. God, thank You that You never leave me and I never have to go through battles alone. God, today I am scared though...wondering if what's going on in me is conviction or condemnation because I'm scared of accidentally mistaking one for the other. That stops my blood cold and at times I just get depressed about it but I seek You God for the answer. Tonight I go to work and God, I come to You for the strength to put up with people. In times like these it gets hard to love people or see people for people...I start judging them or seeing their wrongs and God, I want to be different. You said You put me here to share You - to be the light in the world and love my neighbors as myself. God, I can't do that on my own, especially when I'm going through personal problems. I need You Father to guide me, convict me when I am treating people wrong, direct my words and actions, to teach me to love others and see them as them. God, help me to see people as themselves and not their sins or trespasses.  Just like You, dad. You see me for me and You chose not to see my sins or shortcomings. Thank You for that and God, thank You for the people You will place in my life today so I can love or who You'll use to teach me to love. Also thank You God that this will also teach me to be vulnerable with people since I struggle with that. I struggle being myself and open to those around me. Thank You for Your sacrifice, love, and grace God that You bestow on me. In Jesus name, amen.