My Letters to God.

8/8/2019

Father God,
Today was a great day actually. It wasn't what I planned but I'm glad, God, that it turned out great. I got to spend time with desiree (God, please bless her a lot!) and lauren. We ate Korean food today and it was delicious. I also got to try a macaron today and they are so good!!! We celebrated Lauren's birthday that is tomorrow (if You are willing we get tomorrow) and Desiree was so sweet to pay for us. God, she never lets me help pay for the stuff (at the store, I tried being sneaky and slipped my card in but she made the girl take it off and she paid for it herself.) Thank You for such great friends...God, I miss Nori. Nori was awesome and she still is but I don't communicate with her often like I do with Shanaiah and Desiree. God, I wonder if I'm still holding a grudge against her...please help me to not hold grudges against her. God, help me to not worry about my differences with others. This year God, I notice that all the parties and out goings that my friends in crossover likes going to every week...I'm not really interested in going out. Today was great but I know it's because I was with my two friends; it was small but intimate. Compared to the get togethers in crossover parties...I get uncomfortable and no body really stays in one conversation for long; people come and go, and that's when I get lonely or uncomfortable. Shanaiah felt the same way too when I wasn't at one of the parties. God, help me to get over that insecurity I have but also, my God, show me where my heart is with this crossover thing. And how to grow out of that uncomfortable-ness in the crowd situation. Show me how to take down my walls with people in the group and how to let go of offenses.

Please help me to not be religious and pious but help me, my God, to love like You do. Things are getting crazy and there is so much hatred in this world, Lord. It's sad that many people are dying and all over little things or that someone is cheating on their spouse, choosing to jeapodize their family for someone that won't even love them. Or how a boss can abuse their position by pressuring someone to have sex with them. Is this what You placed me in this era for, Lord? To fight these stuff with love and compassion?

Everyone is picking up their guns...so do I pick up flowers?

How do I love people, God, who are different than me? People that don't believe or their way of living is wild, or the way they talk is annoying...especially when they come at me. How do I love those people God? Also, How do I love the people in this household God where they wouldn't understand it and have no choice but to say "That's God showing through her."

God, help my family in You and me especially to pick up our crosses and put on our armors to fight the enemy in these dark times. Help us God to love when all the world does is hate. Help us to bring life and healing in this world that all people know is pain and death. God, help me to not judge my neighbor because they are lost or because they are different. Help me to put down my guns, Lord, and to instead pour out the compassion You always pour in me, to them.

And open their eyes Lord. Show them God that You love them and have not forgotten them. Show them God who You are and how much Lord You love them. God, please save my family; bring my dad and toby back to You and save Brenda and, God, help us to store up our treasures in heaven. God, I've been worrying about my money. I worry when I buy toby things or when the parents ask me for money and yet I have no problem spending the money on myself.

I'm even thinking about getting my hair dyed and going back to school.

But Father...God, help me to not be selfish and look out for only my desires. God, please don't let me make an idol out of money. I'm scared of praying this because I picture things getting hard but I know my heart is more important than my wallet. You're more important than paper. You're forever while money will have no value one day. Please help me to keep my heart in check.

Protect Desiree and lauren and I pray, Father, that Desiree will be blessed with a laptop and that the church won't give her any beef for needing a break from tech team. Help her and lauren with their schooling. Give them traveling mercy as well as my grandparents in Texas. God, please heal them God, and give them strength, Lord to make it another day. God, I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm excited but also a bit nervous since I'm not that prepared. Also, the questions worry me...I'm wondering if I'll be able to answer them right. God, please let this be the job for me. I pray, Father I get this job but if its not Your will, then help me Lord, to let it go.

Thank You that I get to be part of this story and that there are benefits in each season in life. It's just hard when some seasons feel bad...sad...but Gracias God that You are bigger than any season and always sees me through it. Thank You for allowing me to wake up today God and see what this day brought. Gracias for giving me breath and sunscreen and food and water and friends and clothes and a purpose and meaning and joy and happiness and that You are making Your truths clear. Gracias God that You're helping me look at my life with purpose and how I can be the change. Please help me Father God to remember Your truth and to read it. In Jesus Holy and mighty name, amen!